~ archived since 2018 ~

How do you stay alpha with an ex?

antagonistic_hero

July 9, 2012

11 upvotes

/r/seduction

Hey guys. Got a situation. Not sure of this goes here, I'll ask anyway.

Brief background. Went out with a girl for a year. Great relationship. Breaks up with me. Fucked a guy a day later. Only told me they kissed. Spent 2 months trying to work relationship out. She strung me along, she had already picked that guy.

As the AFC at the time. I tried keeping a friendship. Didn't work. After half a year finally got over her and just ignored her. She tried to text me. Ignored her. She sent me this huge long 4 text explanation. Apologizing. Wishing to talk it out one last time. But realizing what I want. Saying good bye.

Now comes to today. She knows I don't want to talk to her. But I'm taking a summer class with her. I've run into her so many times. Every time she looks at the ground or her phone. And one time she gave me a very timid smile.

My question is. Is the best way to go about this to just ignore her. Should I say hi. What's the best way to do this? How to keep an alphaness in this situation? General help would be appreciated. Thanks.

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Post Information

Title	How do you stay alpha with an ex?
Author	antagonistic_hero
Upvotes	11
Comments	47
Date	July 9, 2012 10:36 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wamvv/how_do_you_stay_alpha_with_an_ex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-stay-alpha-with-an-ex.1335410 https://theredarchive.com/post/1335410

Comments

[–]kreptlol 16 points17 points18 points 14 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]kreptlol 4 points5 points6 points 14 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]kreptlol 3 points4 points5 points 14 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]kreptlol 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]kreptlol 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kreptlol 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 4 points5 points6 points 14 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ravens52 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ravens52 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Especially in this situation. At least for mine again what you just posted, I had to deal with. The phone calls were late at night when she was drunk, and it was always bullshit, like I wanna talk about random stuff cuz I'm drunk and i'm bored. I mean fuck me right, it's not like I was sleeping at.....2:42 am on a thursday.

The bullshit games sucked. It was petty child stuff. Name calling, pouting, jealousy games that went as far as being in a relationship with me and grabbing a guy that wasn't a close friend or friend and dancing with him right in front of me. Some times me reacting to that shit got me into trouble, and random guys who got dragged into it into worse trouble. I just ignored these actions after a while, which lead to the eventual break-up.

I cut her loose, because it was a negative time-sink that leeched the life force out of me while simultaneously scaring away any and all female friends I had. A couple weeks later she was back in a relationship with a guy who she met through me.

My best advice to you now seeing that we have similar "Batshit-crazy" ex-gf's is to give all of your energy to improving yourself to the point that you are physically where you want to be, mentally where you want to be(well read, intelligent, interesting, can provide a myriad of conversational topics with out being boring), and emotionally strong enough to see through the bullshit and even deal with some.

I can tell you right now that I miss her fucking crazy ass every god damn day, but deep down I know In my heart that it will never work out again. I was taken advantage of emotionally, socially, and financially. Remember when getting to know a girl. "You are not her care-taker, she does not make decisions for you, she is not immune to making mistakes and getting away with it, and finally, make sure she is witty and can carry a conversation."

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ravens52 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna 2 points3 points4 points 14 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nodistraction 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

I would stay friends if she would treat me as such, last time I tried that didn't happen.

I can't do a relationship anymore, not with how she screwed me over. The screwing over also messes the friendship up as well. I just feel like how could you do something that harsh to someone you kept so close to you.

And to be honest, sometimes I just want to have sex with her again. And it's usually this option that comes up.

And I'm not letting this mess up me meeting other woman, I wouldn't even bring that up as a problem at all. In all honesty, I think I just needed to get an outside opinion on what to do with her. I felt not talking to her has really made me change into something much greater than I ever was. Being able to let go of something, letting go being something I rarely do, was a huge change and allowed me to really grow.

I just don't want to regress by talking to her. And I really don't want her to think (A) she now has the upper hand and (B) that I'm the same I used to be/completely forgotten about what happened.

[–]ObscuroMagna1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ObscuroMagna1 point 14 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]jfy 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]antagonistic_hero[S] 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]jfy 1 point2 points3 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]leodoestheopposite 0 points1 point2 points 14 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I understand your situation, but you put the wrong question in the title.

Let me answer the question first:

Q.: How do you stay alpha with an ex?

A.: An Alpha is an Alpha is an Alpha is an Alpha. Always, no matter what. It's not a switch that can be turned on and off.

Now, regarding your situation, ask yourself: what is the BEST thing for antagonistic_hero? It's a rhetorical question, because the answer is that the BEST thing for you is if she didn't exist at all. So tell yourself that she's out there, but she's dead to you. Erase her phone #, if you can on some smartphones you can block her number, do the same with email, etc.... do not talk to her for any reason whatsoever, not even to tell her of your new state.

If you happen to be in the same building with her, like a coffee shop, she does not exist, act like that. If you see her on the street, walk tall, look way into the future, she doesn't exists.

In the rare occasion that she were con confront you, just tell her You're dead to me and physically move on.