Need help dealing with flakes via text the day before date

sedditpro · 2012-08-07T11:59:05+00:00

You can't do anything to prevent flakes. Sometimes you can convert them, but its better to have an abundance mentality in the beginning and just stop worrying about them. The connection is made in person and anything you say via text doesn't hold the same meaning.

Here's how to mitigate the worst kind of flaking - the kind where they just don't show up. If she doesn't respond to your texts on the day of, she's not gonna come.

2012-08-07T12:32:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

xyals · 2012-08-07T19:57:53+00:00

Yeah. Unlike a lot of other situations/concepts, the community is pretty unanimous on handling flakes. It's really just being okay with it and not letting it get to you. You can go over what you've done before hand that might have led to the flake to correct yourself next time but other than that there isn't much merit in over thinking it.

A bit I would add from recently personal experience: she usually comes up with something to excuse herself "I'm working that day, I have family over that day, I have friends etc." which could be legitimate. I just respond with simple "Ok" or something to convey that you don't mind and you're not over thinking it.

Afterwards, a few days/weeks down the road I'll ask her out again. After all, for all I know, she couldn't make it last time due to something external (not her own decision) there's no reason not to try again. Asking her out again will seem natural if you didn't make a big deal out of the flake last time. To a person who can't read minds and isn't caring or over analyzing the flake, its simply "One appointment got cancelled, let's try again." As with a doctor or a friend or a co-worker etc.

If she really doesn't want to spend time with you then she would/should make it clear instead of giving believable one-time excuses.

I've been getting "Oh sorry I can't make it. Another time!" for a few flakes recently and I just take "Another time" as "another time" not "Take a hint, I don't want to see you!" Ofc, there's a limit, if she keeps flaking then your time is better spent elsewhere but sending and replying to a few texts every time you arrange something isn't really all that much.

This is just personal experience, I can't say this is correct but it makes sense to me, also isn't too much downside. Worst comes to worse, you'll hear some funny excuses and pay a little more on texting fees. TL;DR: If she gives you excuses instead of blatantly refusing to see you, just reply with "Ok" and ask her out again later.

dave-gonzo · 2012-08-07T12:42:26+00:00

If she doesn't want it. Go find another one that does.

leodoestheopposite · 2012-08-07T20:20:57+00:00

Create attraction
Set up the next meet/date, not too long after the day you meet
keep any and all communications to a bare minimum, if you created attraction, she's in to you, the very nature of electronic communications can only hurt your case and not improving

If she flakes, she was not into you to begin with, improver your seduction game.

SheerAsparagus · 2012-08-07T11:20:11+00:00

It would be interesting to see what others have to say on this topic

Title	Need help dealing with flakes via text the day before date
Author	JamilCuzz
Upvotes	7
Comments	7
Date	August 7, 2012 11:18 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xtgvi/need_help_dealing_with_flakes_via_text_the_day/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-help-dealing-with-flakes-via-text-the-day.1336937 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336937

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