Hey guys,

I'm pretty pathetic. Or at least I feel that way at the moment. I'm 23 and am only now realising how little confidence I have.

I go to university at the moment, and struggle making any friends. I'm scared to approach people, and when I do it seems to go miserably. Truth be told I haven't made any friends since the 9th grade.

I'm intimidated by guys and girls: no idea what to talk about, how to approach, and most importantly I can't shut off the voice in my head that tells me that no-one wants me to talk to them.

I've been in counselling/therapy for ~2 years now, although the person talking to me has changed. Right now I have this test to simply approach people and say hello: just pass that first barrier. It's supposed to make me realise the world doesn't fall apart if someone rejects me. The test was set a few months ago and although when in session I start to get pumped for a chance at a new life, nothing changes. I'm too much of a pussy.

The sick part is, I know deep down I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm too uncomfortable. I get palpitations just thinking about it.

I leave my session every 2 weeks with this newfound zest for life, but it goes after five minutes when I'm forced to remember that I'm 23 years old and I've really only had one person (a girl, FYI) that I've ever really felt like they like me back.

I feel depressed all the time, but my therapist doesn't believe it. She thinks it's situational. But I've been living in this situation my whole life.

I've never taken any medication but really want to. I'm too scared to tell this to my therapist in case she says no. And she's right: I'm never going to get better unless I stop being such a pussy.

I feel like what a need is a huge smack over the head telling me to harden up. Can you guys do that?