Any sober PUAs out there who want to give me some tips?

Iamcookie9001 · 2012-08-29T01:50:34+00:00

During weeknights I don't drink, so my tips might be able to help you out:

Start working out. Within the first few months you'll see noticeable (positive) changes in your appearance. Your natural confidence will also shoot through the roof.
When you meet girls (after you've started working out), wait until the topic of alcohol comes up and then tell them that you don't drink. They'll make a joke or ask why, at which point you tell them about how you're really dedicated to getting fit. This gives you stronger DHV and it opens up a whole new conversation thread.

thebrokendoctor · 2012-08-28T16:06:19+00:00

This question pops up every now and again, and it's a very good question. Some people here are in the same boat as you, or don't drink for a myriad of other reasons, and (especially in North America I find) that can make it seem tough to determine where to pick up girls. You think "Well, shit, I can't go to a club/bar/disco if I'm not drinking. It would be weird!"

In my own experience, some of my most fun nights have been while I was sober at clubs and bars. It's all about the mindset, having fun instead of drinking your face off to feel like you're having fun. If you want to go to bars and clubs, I'd highly recommend learning how to dance, so that you can do that for a lot of the time. This is important because:

You're doing something you (hopefully will) find fun.
Girls love guys who can dance.
You create an atmosphere of enjoyment around you, that helps draw in girls and other people, and that helps give you the power to select who you share this enjoyment with.

If you really don't want to go to those kinds of establishments, I'd highly recommend then that you learn how to day game really well. Day game is a lot of fun in and of itself, so I'd recommend you learn it anyway, but if you don't want to go to clubs and bars at night, becoming a master of day game is your best option. You can meet girls and go on insta-dates to coffee shops or parks or whatever, and at no point will you need to have alcohol come into the conversation, while you're still building attraction.

To answer the questions you have:

Don't say unless you really need to. It's not important, but nor is it a secret you should feel ashamed about. If a girl asks you if you're drunk, or drinking, just say "No, I don't drink."
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Ever. If they ask why, just say "Personal reasons". If they pester you about it, repeat that line and readjust the conversation. It's none of their business.
At that very moment, day game. However, if you're asking in a consistent sense, I can't answer that. You should try to be comfortable though with a girl who drinks or uses if you can, and find a girl who is comfortable with you not drinking or using. There are lots out there, and there's no reason why you can't be seeing a girl that when you go out, you can go dancing or whatever while she has a gin and tonic and you just have a tonic. Being comfortable with yourself and those around is important.

Hope that helps mate! Good luck and have fun.

joshmc333 · 2012-08-28T17:49:08+00:00

I've been in a situation lately where I can't drink - pretty serious digestive issues. I've been crushing lemon waters at the bar/parties and typically nobody asks what's in the glass. If at any point it comes up, I simply say it's for health reasons and enthusiastically say that "I FEEL GREAT" because of it - which is actually true.
I'm 22, and often hang out with people up to 30 years old, and I feel at this point people are becoming more accepting of others not drinking their faces off. I've had people very openly congratulate me and actually show deep respect for me treating my body well. It also helps that I'm starting to look healthier so the proof really is in the pudding for people who already know me.
It's only been a few weeks and it's already getting easier. I can actually stay up late without passing out or getting sloppy. I've actually hooked up with two girls in that time and they've been very impressed by my performance - typically I'd be sloppy drunk by the end of the night and probably muddle something up.
If they can't respect it, fuck them.

blitzik · 2012-08-28T22:10:24+00:00

I don't drink, but I still go out to bars and clubs regularly. How's your self control? Can you be around alchohol and not drink?

I never mention it, unless a girl asks. If she does, I just tell them that I don't drink. That usually breaks it right there. If they're persistent, I'll tell em that I'm a recovering alcoholic and just keep it moving along. Nobody has ever seemed to mind, and there has rarely been a time where I had to pour over my life to explain what's up.

Treat it like your own personal sobriety is no big deal. It just is.

2012-10-30T07:11:57+00:00

page 101 of the big book "..In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn't.

You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere..."

your good reason=pickup

and why will you not be stealing vicarious pleasure? because you'll be the one doling out pleasure and the center of fun.

I'd get some clean time under my thumb first and make sure I didn't do any bar game if life had just dealt me a shifty blow (loss of job etc) because you might have a lapse to regret but, its in black and white for you!

2012-08-28T10:39:25+00:00

Not sure what country/scene you're in, but I'm a girl who doesn't drink (no alcoholic reason, just don't) & my SO doesn't drink either for the same reasons. I also have a fair few friends who don't, we didn't meet because of it, it's just coincidence.

Now I'm not sure about the wider world, but we're all on the local metal scene so maybe that has something to do with it?

Anyway, sorry I'm not being that helpful, I just wanted to reassure you that non drinkers do exist & it doesn't have to be a big issue. Good luck!

rangerdude · 2012-08-29T18:26:15+00:00

I don't know your age, but you're using the term "girls," so I am assuming you're pretty young. People in AA will lie and say you are more attractive sober, but the reality is that most women do not want someone in a recovery program. They think there is something wrong with you, and it's often boring for them, because they want to go to a bar and drink. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Title	Any sober PUAs out there who want to give me some tips?
Author	Whatever1221
Upvotes	2
Comments	15
Date	August 28, 2012 8:44 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/yybhn/any_sober_puas_out_there_who_want_to_give_me_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/any-sober-puas-out-there-who-want-to-give-me-some.1338140 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338140

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