Can someone here please give me insight as to what I did wrong?

seemorehappy · 2012-09-23T14:14:11+00:00

Welcome to the community. We will take care of you. Everything you thought you did right was perfectly wrong.

You were needy. you want it too much, and you kept giving.

Never give a girl money. your positive qualities should never be "he buys me dinner and stuff". if a girl offers to buy dinner or anything for you, take it. She's investing in you, same as you've been investing in her. investment makes for a more painful loss, she will be more willing to make it work.

you shouldn't be texting her too much. you're busy and have a life. you have things to do. if you don't you should.

let's start you off with some inner game

MorphineSmile · 2012-09-23T18:55:09+00:00

Yeah, don't ever give up too much, to one girl. As soon as a girl knows she has you, she'll get bored and move on. It's a very challenging delicate balance to display interest, AND disinterest. And as seemorehappy said, don't spend money on her.

And, you know, maybe this girl just sucks. A lot of this pickup stuff is easier/makes more sense, with fun girls, who WANT to play the game. Cold women who want to control and manipulate, aren't worth your time. Shit dude, you live in NEW YORK CITY, do you realize how many girls are frustrated at city life, waiting for a fun guy to come sweep them off their feet?

Go out to the bar, find the girls who are dressed up and laughing, and having fun, and go up to a cute one, and say "I bet you look so much cuter when you smile." And guess what -- she's going to start laughing and smiling, and when you say "I KNEW IT!", you'll have her.

Fuck this girl, she sucks. You've got literally MILLIONS of women within a few blocks of you -- move on, and go have fun.

2012-09-23T19:07:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Vecoma · 2012-09-23T20:36:56+00:00

You were too available. Cut off all contact with her, go out meet some new people. Even if you aren't ready to pickup, go out and talk to people, old people, girls, guys, anybody, and when you feel you are ready to pickup you'll have your social skills, plus some new friends you can go out with.

You had more invested in the relationship than she did and it seems like she was using you because you paid. It sucks but you will meet better people!

2012-09-24T01:39:15+00:00

Well, here's something for you:

If it wasn't for this entire situation, you would not be here. Congratulations! This community is going to be very good for you, if you take the time.
In some way or another WE all had some version of your story, you are in good company. Breathe, in your mind thank her since she brought you here, and move on with your life.

rdma · 2012-09-23T14:12:16+00:00

I realise that this is Seddit, but a few things that are still helping me move on from a serious relationship that was emotionally harrowing.

First off, realise that it wasn't about you. As you said, you behaved like a gentleman. You respected her wishes and was honest.

Sometimes, that isn't what a woman wants, even if she says so. But you know what I learned? I don't care and neither should you. Be who you are. Love it, live it. Single or in a relationship, compromising who you want to be is not worth it.

Second, accept that it hurts and literally focus on breathing. Same goes for when you want to approach someone else and your pulse starts peaking. Realise that you are nervous and breathe deeply. Not only will you being aware of the issue and dealing with it calm you, but the breathing will affect a small nerve cluster in the back that connects to the amygdala and calms you down. A further way of calming down is leaning against a wall, making sure that the spot between your shoulderblades touch. Really, try it.

Third, instead of picking up new women, try focusing on your friends for a while. Engage with them. Listen and talk. Not only will it give you a sense on normalcy, it will make you realise that you have people in your life worth spending your time and money on.

Title	Can someone here please give me insight as to what I did wrong?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	September 23, 2012 11:58 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/10c7f3/can_someone_here_please_give_me_insight_as_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-someone-here-please-give-me-insight-as-to-what.1339961 https://theredarchive.com/post/1339961

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