Should I snoop my LTR?

OGAbunai · 2018-09-26T07:02:05+00:00

Would definitely do it just for the lulz.

Morphs_ · 2018-09-26T07:18:47+00:00

The grey area is the most dangerous, because you don't have a clear answer but you'll get paranoid as fuck. I've been there last year. Bpd LTR with a shitload of red flags and suspicions but nothing tangible.

The biggest problem here is your investment into someone you don't fully trust. This is why I started to dislike the idea of an LTR.

Cloud_Kit8 · 2018-09-26T07:23:28+00:00

I wouldn’t move in with her, we all stress this especially if you think she’s a ticking time bomb waiting to happen, do you want her to blow up and take your beloved stuff with her ? IE. broken, damaged, taken ? Dynamics change big time. She’ll take the always ready available sex for granted. If getting her to pay for half your shit so that you can go to school is your thing, then I’d try a different approach. But in the end you do you, hold frame and don’t spend too much time together if you do end up living together.

fade2clear · 2018-09-26T08:44:32+00:00

You say you don’t care now, but as soon as you move in together and shit hits the fan one way or another, you’re going to have instant regret.

The worst possible thing is you get overly invested without even realizing it, then you find out she’s cheating or does something crazy and you’re stuck there with her(at least for a little while).

This will fuck with your psyche and pride more than you think. You start questioning your decision-making ability after noticing the red flags but proceeding anyway. It’s not good for you.

I definitely wouldn’t move in, you just don’t feel vulnerable...yet. How old is she btw?

AshyBoneVR4 · 2018-09-26T08:48:52+00:00

You're obviously not emotionally invested so who fucking cares? Enjoy what you got while you have it. But don't let her move in. No matter how good of an idea it is, it's not.

ainihon · 2018-09-26T07:30:46+00:00

Having knowledge might change your judgement, you seem to be doing so well. Proceed with awalt mentality, do your best for yourself still, that’s what caught her to begin with. You are the prize as they say.

So what if she’s head over heels, it’s temporary etc. So what if she’s cheating, awalt, hypergamy etc.

The best thing to do is maintain composure and minimize emotional investment. LTR material takes years to discover.

Bruchibre · 2018-09-26T07:46:55+00:00

I know that if I have access to her phone and I know her PIN it will be hard for me not to snoop. I have snooped every time I had a chance.

Kurush559 · 2018-09-26T08:18:59+00:00

DONT MOVE IN

ainihon · 2018-09-26T08:21:55+00:00

To simplify, I’ve given you two outcomes, both of which could be true or false.

A. You find out she’s faithful, great, would you treat her differently?

B. She’s not , will you keep her as a plate but not LTR

I’m merely pointing out that if you are to put trust and investment it should be on yourself. It is easier to set the bar low for her, so you don’t get disappointed should she fail. It is easier to keep in mind that all things are temporary.

I’m curios though, what set of criteria do you have for evaluating LTR material? Does it involve your own deviced shit test? Let me know

handfulofnuts · 2018-09-26T08:43:27+00:00

Well, what's your plan and how does she fit into it? Is the help she's giving you worth more to you than her loyalty?

I'm in a fairly similar situation, actually. My girlfriend is a bit older than me and does very well for herself. I don't know how much she makes but it's enough that she dropped $1000+ on dinner for us once without batting an eye, just because she didn't feel like cooking that night.

I'm a broke entrepreneur. Well, not broke, but money is tight. She pays for everything. Dinner, wine, movies, trips, clothes, you name it. She's probably spent more on me this year than I make in two years. It probably sounds like a sugar situation, but I didn't even know she had money until we had been fucking for a good 6 months.

She wanted to move in together too, but I said no, that I needed to have some privacy and didn't plan to live with anyone ever again. It would have been cheaper, but I'm happy with my choice.

Her thing is, she loves me and she believes in what I'm doing with my company, so she wants to help me in any way she can. She even told me she expects me to leave her once I've "made it," but she still just wants to help me along the way because she wants me to be happy.

I don't think she's cheating on me, although it would be easy if she wanted to. But I don't really care either, and I'm not going to look into it. I love this girl, but she could get bored and drop me tomorrow and I'd be fine.

Similarly, as much as I want to walk away sometimes and just be single and build up a harem, I'm making the choice to stay with this girl for now because she's sweet, she's a great fuck, and she's making my life much easier. In a way she's a stepping stone to the next phase in my life. I'll still make it there without her, but staying with her makes the process a lot easier.

So, as with most things in life, you have to decide what you want. A comfortable stepping stone, or assurance of loyalty? You may not be able to have both.

Title	Should I snoop my LTR?
Author	shivanaHS
Upvotes	7
Comments	20
Date	September 26, 2018 6:15 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9izyz7/should_i_snoop_my_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/should-i-snoop-my-ltr.134019 https://theredarchive.com/post/134019

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