THIS IS A LONG POST! I like to detail my FR's :)

Tonight was a night where I pledged to stay sober. I also tried to become less outcome dependent. Last time I went clubbing sober I had set 'goals' for myself that night, such as getting a dance, escalating for a KC, and it was crash and burn. When you set goals for a night you put too much pressure on yourself. Especially goals that depend on others. So tonight, my only goal was to have fun and practice not giving a shit.

I get there with my buddy who agreed to go to practice and screw around. I take a leak, and then give a lap around the place. It's picking up, and first thing I notice is way too many guys. More than usual. There must have been 1 girl for every 4 guys, if not less. I go to the dance floor and start dancing on the spot. I will admit, breaking out of your current state (not dancing, not approaching) is very difficult, so the first few moments of this are tough, its like AA to dance. But I just forget about people around me and just focus on the music. I don't really know how to dance and this was the first time I focused on dancing and having fun, and it was a hell of a time. For the beginners, Just make sure you do a lot of torso movement, and let your shoulders and arms loose and change up how you move your feet, while staying in beat. I recall getting some looks from those around me, girls looking at me weird and guys giving me funny looks. Who cares. At this point there were maybe 20 people in this section of the dance floor and only 5 including me were dancing. All the guys were along the walls with their beers just watching the girls.

Things start to pick up and I stand on this raised platform and go at it. Girls look at me and laugh. At this point they acknowledge my fun. They follow me up and start dancing. I continue to dance independently of them being there. Eventually a girl comes up to me and asks me to dance. Sure. We dance for like 2 minutes and I ask her to get down from platform with me and I guess she thought I said I was done and said thanks and left. Whatever, I continue dancing. Some other girl came up to me, really short, didn't really find her attractive. Asked me to dance, asked my name, told her twice to which she just said 'WHAAAAT!??' really annoying. So I danced with her and could tell she wanted to escalate so we made out. Easy. She had to leave her friends wanted to go, and she asked me for my number. She gave me her phone, so I put in just my first name and made up a random number. Girls do this all the time, so why not?

Went back to dancing. Walked around. Went to the washroom, and after washing my hands, I intentionally kept them wet. Went up to a group of 3 girls at the bar, approached from the front with my hand out. She suspiciously shakes my hand, and I say “HA! You have pee on your hands now>:)” She gets all disgusted “ewwww!!” and her friends notice me and I shake their hands and tell them the same thing. They start laughing but they are unsure if it is actually urine or just water. So I have some quick small chatter and I tell them it was nice to meet you, put my hand out to shake their hands, and not surprisingly none of them do. The girl I initially approached though taps my shoulder, so I tap hers and keep my hand there for a second and I run it down her upper arm as I bid her good night. The laugh she gave me was priceless.

Go upstairs, run into friend. Chatter. Back to dancing. Approach random girls, no interest, poor opener, whatever. Back on dancefloor, I approach these 2 girls who have been getting hit on all night. To the blonde, “This is really embarrassing, I almost wore the exact same thing tonight” As I look her down. She laughs and plays along. Got a couple laughs from them but did not know how to transition, and I feel that it would take a lot more to escalate with these girls than try to dance with them like every other guy did. If I could get some advice on how to transition here after getting their attention on the dancefloor that would be great. Back to dancing. Walk around. I approach this girl with her friend (who is being chatted up) “Hey, your cute, why do you attract me” as I have my hand on her hip. She is very receptive and we chat. She asks if I’m on drugs. WTF? “No, I’m actually sober” she teases me and we go dance. She asks me questions that I would interpret as IOI’s, such as my name, what school I go to, what my background is, but in between my answer she shouts “I LOVE THIS SONG WOOOOO!” to either herself or her friend. She was so high energy it kind of frightened me. But she was absolutely gorgeous. I danced with her and was about to escalate but some guy totally out gamed me and came in, did a squat and motioned her to get on his shoulders. So he stands up with her on his shoulders, going crazy. This was nuts, normally I’d be pissed off, but the guy pulled this off and deserved a brofist. If that guy is reading this right now, mad props. I have to do that sometime!

I exited that set and walked around. Had some girl push me on the dance floor. I pushed her back. She hip checks me (shes almost a foot taller and has considerable stature.) I try to do it back but I bounce off her lol. She sits on the raised platform and looks at me all seductively. Some guy pushes me onto her shouting “Get on her bro!!! Give it to her!!” I was clueless but I went with it, weird but exciting experience. A lot of tension, especially with the eye contact and getting really close to her face. She told me she needed a drink and left and when she came back she started dancing on her own and was hounded by guys immediately. I walked upstairs, saw 2 girls, one which was being chatted up, the other looked bored as shit. So I went and opened her, indirectly. Had a solid conversation with her, a few minutes. Got a couple laughs. She was sober like me so we had could actually communicate. Me being outcome independent, it didn’t matter that I didn’t get her number. I knew that I could have, but there wasn’t enough attraction/comfort and the logistics are very difficult for me to ever proceed.

Night is starting to wrap up, I go outside to the smoking area for the first time to get some air. I see a girl texting on her phone in the corner, looking around. “you look lost”, she replies that she is looking for her friends. I transition into conversation, I tell her let’s have fun, let’s go dance, to which she agrees. I take her inside and we dance, she asks me more questions, my name, how old I am (I’m 47, said with a straight face, she asks me how old I really am and I say I’m 12 but I get by with an awesome fake ID). I dance closer to her, spin her a few times, get a front grind started, and after 2 minutes I build the tension with eye contact and go for the KC. We makeout and she stops after a few seconds and says “OMG, I never made out with a stranger before!” She says its unlike her, that this is big for her kissing someone she just met at a club. We keep dancing, and I take her to a corner booth, where we sit and makeout. I escalate more and so does she and we enjoy it. She asks me more about myself. We talk, but I tell her this is a one time thing, that I won’t take her number because I really won’t see her again. She understands and agrees. The night is over and I have to meet up with my buddy and head out, so kiss good bye have a nice night.

All in all, I believe this was a great night. A huge step forward for me, being able to do this sober. 80% of the guys in that place were shit faces and 50% of those just hugged the walls and checked girls out all night, maybe did a few approaches. What’s important for those learning, is to not give a shit, approach, get rejected (and laugh, I didn’t mention several times I got ‘rejected’ tonight), be willing to escalate, and not give a shit.

Also, forgot to mention this one guy. He was about my height 5’8, asian, and slightly overweight. He wore a white suit. He was the life of the party, dancing everywhere, approaching without giving a shit. He would take grinding to the extreme with the frame of not giving a shit and girls loved it. Guys hated it. He would go up to a girl and bend over and put his face in front of her crotch and stick his tongue out and just go crazy. Sounds creepy as shit but I saw him do this several times to different girls and they all loved it (even the ones who where grinding with a guy at that moment, whether it be a random or a bf). He has girls opening him right and left, wherever he went girls followed. Man, if you are reading this, keep doing that shit. For everyone else, learn from what he does. I talked to him and he’s been doing this for some time, its all practice.

Comments/feedback/anything welcome.