Background

To make a long story short in school I was really fat (200+lb) in highschool. I was bullied really badly, had horrible self esteem. I got to college, had some medical wackiness that made social life almost impossible, I withdrew and become a porn addict (in the process of kicking that habit, which gave the me the motivation to be here). Now I'm a sophomore and trying to get my act together. Ive never dated, had a crush in highschool who in retrospect was into me, and I mean INTO me. But I couldn't accept the fact that she could like me cas she was a solid 10 and I was a loser with no friends. I never want to feel that kind of regret again, not even giving it a go. I also lost a lot of weight due to the medical stuff, so now I'm sitting at about 160 pounds, I lost alot from my face. I actually consider myself attractive. Like you know that guy you see in the room who just "looks" cool, like you want to go up and talk to him, Ive surprised myself because I'll catch myself in the mirror and be like "who is that" then realize its me. I'm actually happy with the way I look for once in my life. But there is still that nagging voice way down in my that says "your fat, your ugly, you have nothing a girl would want" and while normally it doesn't rear it head, it seems to when talking to girls.

THE PROBLEM

I'm horrible at approaching girls. I'm actually scared to death of it. I have no problem TALKING to women, its 100% the approach. If I can get past the first 30 seconds of conversation its like whatever triggers the fight of flight response is like "dude, she is just human, its cool now" and I become totally relaxed and don't worry about it, have good conversation, I'm not a pushover or overly nice. Its the approach that gets me. The only way Ive found around it to put myself in situations where when fight or flight kicks in, flight isn't an option. Like tonight I'm going to party at my church (don't hate) and the ratio there is AMAZING (bout 5 girls to every guy, and most of the girls are 8-10's). Thats something old me wouldn't do, but I'm forcing myself to go. Last time I did this I only talked to a few girls, one thing I make myself do though is shake there hand. It always seems weird to me but I try to shake everyone hand I meet, its just a personal thing. It always feels weird when I do it to women, like the don't expect it or something. (feels a little weird to me, it doesn't show or anything like that and the conversation continues after that)