Expressed my interest to my friend, she friend zoned me. Responded that I don't need anymore friends. Did I do the right thing?

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-04-02T19:53:35+00:00

No, you did exactly the wrong thing. You declared that you had feelings for the girl. This put her on the spot and made her feel cornered, so even if she really did have feelings for you, she became defensive and recoiled from you anyway. You friend zoned yourself.

nobody2000 · 2013-04-02T21:05:33+00:00

1.) "I have enough friends" is the correct response, but it should have never gotten to that point (but that's why you're here, right?).

2.) I'm going to say what others either have said, or will say - let go of your oneitis. You invested, got burned, and it sucks. That's the problem with oneitis.

3.) Treat this as a mini-breakup. You will need to cut off contact 100% for a little while. By cutting off contact, she's not going to have her "friend" that she did all those "friend" things with, and she's going to miss that. Give it a month. Seriously. 1 month. 4 weeks. 30 days. A month. She'll probably contact you first anyway...

4.) If you put her on the pedestal, she'll only look down at you. Go ahead and put yourself out there and pursue other women casually. Most of the non-keyboard jockeys here date a few women at a time and keep it casual. You should too. It not only will get your mind off of this girl, but it gives you perspective on women, and what YOU want in a mate. The side benefit is that it'll make her jealous.

5.) Eventually you'll get back in contact with her. Ideally, you won't give a shit about how she feels about you, and this is good. Then it's up to you - you can do what others are saying and seduce her (they're giving you good techniques and tips), or maybe it won't matter, and you'll realize you don't want to seduce her. It's a win/win scenario.

ofcrazed · 2013-04-02T19:50:26+00:00

Generally you don't breakup with people you never dated.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2013-04-02T20:56:58+00:00

If a girl tells you she just wants to be friends, the answer is "yeah sure that's fine". If she tells you she wants to fuck your brains out, the answer is "yeah sure that's fine". If she tells you she never wants to talk to you again, the answer is "yeah sure that's fine". Everything's fine and nothing's a big deal because you're a confident stud who doesn't need anything from her.

I know some guys here may disagree with me, but let me explain why I believe this. Any time you let anything upset you you instantly lose value in her mind. Girls like guys who are stable like a rock. If she says she just wants to be friends and you tell her to get lost, that's an indication that you're upset. You wouldn't be upset unless you were at least a little bit emotionally invested in her liking you. Girls like guys who aren't emotionally invested in anything other than their own life. When you don't care whether she likes you or not, that shows that you're the kind of guy who has his shit together, and that's very attractive.

sedmeepsy · 2013-04-02T19:30:04+00:00

First, I hate these kinds of conversations. Instead of having a conversation you should have escalated. But to answer your question, it really depends on whether or not you want to be friends with her. That comment works better when you don't really know someone or care what happens. Because it seems like you have some history it comes off a little cold and high schoolish in my opinion.

2013-04-02T19:23:41+00:00

You did the right thing. Be proud.

Determinism55 · 2013-04-02T20:43:34+00:00

It depends on if you can be just friends with her without letting those thoughts distract you from being with someone else.

In addition to what I just said you also need to consider that if you have stronger feelings for her than she for you, it will leave you vulnerable to her. If she isn't respectable she could take advantage of you.

2013-04-02T20:51:35+00:00

You can. I am movie buddy with a girl (as in we go to movies together and talk about it a lot) that friend zoned me. She is dating someone and I am kinda dating someone, yet she knows more about me sexually (history included) and me about her then our S.O.

It's not wierd, it's just another relationship...

ps: I had the same talk with her (after we dated briefly), but then we kinda came to terms and just remained friends.

puaCurveBall · 2013-04-02T21:30:11+00:00

This belongs in /r/askseddit as it is asking advice for a specific situation / girl

This will stay in spam filter, please repost in the AskSeddit subreddit.(Not askREDDIT, but askSEDDIT) Please read RULES & GUIDELINES. This post is answered by many SIDEBAR guides.

I would also recommend reading 10-20 of the top posts on Seddit: FOUND HERE

Also, don't worry about it! You didn't do anything wrong since you didn't know

2013-04-02T21:41:59+00:00

I think that platonic relationships with HB's are not worth it. What happens is, you give and give to her emotional connection, which is like a woman's number one need, but you never get your number one need (sex) returned to you. The only value she has to you post friendzone is for social proof. And she has to pay her own cover charge.

_Toomuchawesome · 2013-04-02T19:38:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

B-rod08 · 2013-04-02T19:25:18+00:00

Wait so because you have feelings for her she has to lose a friend? Makes sense

rikjames90 · 2013-04-02T21:09:24+00:00

Express sexual interest sooner rather than later. A friend wouldnt kiss on the cheek or milk a hug.

redrobot5050 · 2013-04-02T21:17:47+00:00

You should have responded by not giving a fuck.

"Oh, you want to be friends? Okay, cool."

Then you go out and find someone who's awesome and let's her know she fucked up by not getting on board when she had the chance.

There is no way to recover. You just move on to the next one.

Title	Expressed my interest to my friend, she friend zoned me. Responded that I don't need anymore friends. Did I do the right thing?
Author	_Toomuchawesome
Upvotes	17
Comments	33
Date	April 2, 2013 7:16 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bj8h8/expressed_my_interest_to_my_friend_she_friend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/expressed-my-interest-to-my-friend-she-friend.1349902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1349902

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