It seems heavily suggested to post FRs so here it goes - but first a bit of background. In the past I've been what you could call an introvert. I never had trouble talking to and joking around with people I already knew, but meeting new people was difficult for me. After some big life changes (and a couple months of being lonely) I knew I needed to do something about it. I've been hoping to use seddit to primarily improve my social skills and help make friends, with meeting girls as a secondary goal. Let me know if there's no value in me posting FR's since I'm new to this, or if this should go in /r/askseddit.

This week I went to a pub night meetup for people from my college. From around 20 attendees, I knew 3 or 4 but none very well. From a conversational standpoint, the night went really well. It started out a bit slow, but after a first pint my social inhibitions had melted away.

As I talked to people I did my usual bit of asking open questions, digging deeper to keep the conversation going, and trying to get people laughing. Kino is something I haven't used in conversation before but I tried implementing. While I felt strange about it at first, it quickly became easy to touch people on the shoulders or arms to accentuate points or be playful. This seemed to work well with both men and women, and at no point did I feel like I was making anyone uncomfortable. While there was some, I don't think people were touching me back as much as I was them. Is this a bad sign? Mind, I was making a conscious effort to use more kino and didn't sense that anyone was uncomfortable, but I can't be 100% sure.

At one point I did find myself flirting with two girls (HB6 and 8 or so) and was doing really well. Good conversation, had them both laughing, using basic kino. When they said they had to leave I said to have a good night, waved goodbye, and went back to the rest of the group. One of the guys I knew from before (who strikes me as a non-AFC) told me I messed up not asking for their numbers, as they seemed pretty interested to him. I had been too busy focusing on flirting in general and the basics to even consider the option!

Strategies Used:

  • Talk to Everyone
  • Steve's lack of desire
  • Basic kino (shoulders and upper arms)

Lessons/Next Steps:

  • Continue talking to everyone - It's good practicing and great for boosting confidence
  • Work on beating AA without the help of alcohol
  • Don't forget to close