I'm too nonreactive, to the point of not even caring to speak

blindwombat · 2013-04-10T19:07:22+00:00

Invest yourself in the conversation, people love to talk about themselves as you probably know but most of the time they won't tell you the little things.

Look for secret keeping within stories, people will gloss over parts of information that they think is boring on irrelevant. If you can pick out something that you're interested in or something that sounds intriguing invest in the conversation with a question or two.

A good way to practice this is do watch some interviews and chat shows and watch how the hosts ask a question and then pick up on a single thread and take it down a completely different tangent.

Conan is very good at taking these threads into complete absurdity, a concept known as bathos (to speak on a subject of nonsense with sincerity), this is a really useful tool to be able to take a simple idea and drag it down a path of bizarre proportions that you don't know where it came from.

So: go watch some interviews, learn to look for threads, invest in conversation.

MyThrowawaySeddit · 2013-04-10T22:24:08+00:00

I suspect this is a psychological defense mechanism covering for your fear of failure. Try to focus on what you're really feeling instead of withdrawing from it like this. Then you can try to unearth what's wrong and take steps to fix it.

You can't fix something you're avoiding.

nittutt · 2013-04-11T00:16:27+00:00

Hmm. I think you misunderstand the concept of nonreactive. If you don't care to speak, it means you have the IDGAF mentality in order. Nonreactive is more like:

Whatever she says, whatever happens, you are in the EXACT same state as before. You don't let anything rattle your cages.

However, i don't think your problem with any of this. I think it's that you don't truly believe that what you say will matter to whom you say it to. At least that's what my friend had going for him when i helped him with something similar.

Start saying whatever you think, no matter how weird or obscure it is. Will probably solve many of your issues :)

Silencer96 · 2013-04-10T20:02:13+00:00

NoFap usually mitigates that issue for me. Give it a shot!

Title	I'm too nonreactive, to the point of not even caring to speak
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	April 10, 2013 6:44 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c2vyi/im_too_nonreactive_to_the_point_of_not_even/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-too-nonreactive-to-the-point-of-not-even-caring.1350345 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350345

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