21 year old, completely stuck and sort of depressed

K1ng_W1zard · 2013-04-20T09:44:39+00:00

Hey bud, first off don't let the harsh comments bother you. Stop talking to that girl. I have that fantasy too; young love that lasts forever? I've been dreaming about it since I was a kid.

But here is the thing... 21 is young. You're still REALLY young, hell we are both young, I'm only 22. You probably haven't seen a lot of the world and I'm sure I can speak for a lot of seddit when I say that girls our age aren't very mature and usually are barely tolerable because of their personalities. The mindset of a girl in college isn't "I'm looking for a soulmate" it's "I'm looking for the occasional hookup, often enough that I'm satisfied, not often enough that I feel like a slut."

You can take advantage of that mentality for sexual pleasure or you can hold off until the female population is more mature. Or you can do both, it's up to you. But if you go asexual for a while don't feel like a freak. A lot of people don't have sex because they can't find anyone to do it with. You can choose to not have sex and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

If you DO go that route, man, just focus on yourself. Make sure that you're happy day-to-day and try and find some passion for life outside of females. Find a new hobby, pursue a career, find God, make yourself happy. I firmly believe that we were created to be happy in life... go and fulfill that destiny.

Life is gonna be ok. Some day you may find that girl that you settle down with and you'll raise kids that won't have "rough childhoods". Just keep your head up.

survivorboi · 2013-04-20T13:08:17+00:00

I'm pretty young myself and just like you I've been stuck with several painful oneitises over years. It took being introduced to pickup and drilling into my mind that women are ALL OVER THE PLACE and there are women in the world so hot that the sun seens cold. The girl that you think is the hottest and "made for you"? She's nothing compared to them.

Basically all I'm saying is you need to be somewhat like a salesman, you need to PROMOTE yourself. Do that by being 100% focused on self improvement. You also need to see for yourself what an abudance hot women are. Don't get stuck in a little college/town thinking all you get is that. The world is MUCH bigger. Give yourself a chance.

iamthestate · 2013-04-20T19:39:06+00:00

good looking by some standards (:P)

Keep that mindset. No girl will fuck you if you wouldn't fuck yourself.

I am very close to myself often not letting open to most... rough childhood...

We all want to be loved. Some, like you, more than others. Learn to let go and love yourself. Don't open up if you don't want, and use your introversion to your advantage, e.g., aloof/indifferent game.

I found a girl that was a lot like me

No she wasn't. She mirrored you. She would've pumped and dumped you with little game on your part. That's where this relationship should have ended.

always left me feeling empty

You're the emotional equivalent of low hanging fruit. She gets off of not fucking you, but sucking your soul.

best girl friend (yeah most of my friends are girls)

Get rid of them. All of them. You have no business being friends with girls. Let these friendships simmer out. You're more influenced by them than you think. Every attractive girl you meet from now on you should either try to bone or next.

she told me to get over her

Forget her. Radio silence. GFTOW. Win.

chmkl · 2013-04-21T01:58:28+00:00

Ok buddy, lets do this!

First of all, you are 21, just like me. Which is fucking awesome, because being 21 rocks. Seriously think about it. Why are you thinking about this girl? You don't have time for this shit. This is YOUR journey, YOUR self improvement. Its up to you.

You are in college, this is the best time in life to make the shit you want to happen happen. I really hope you like what you study. Holy shit theres so many cool fields out there. Don't study just because you need some bullshit piece of paper at the end of 4 years. Learn something about the world, you're stuck here, and it seems like bullshit, but if you start taking things apart and looking at how they work its soo fucking cool. Take econ or poli sci courses and learn about how we as humans coordinate our activities between billions of individuals. Take chem, bio, or phys to see how the natural world works and how we can manipulate it to do what we want. Find something you care about and be good at it, like really good at it. If you love what you do, you will love yourself for it. Pick your path, and always remember that you can switch it later by going off the beaten trail.

good looking by some standards

By whose standard? Because if its not yours nobody gives a shit. Go stand in front of the mirror. Are you proud of what you see? Do you see the effort you put into getting decent clothes, and going to the gym? Are you proud of those efforts, or can you do better? Do you look like what you want to look like? And speaking of gym and clothes, these things are for you. Not picking up chicks. Look the gym is the one place in college where you do things for no-one other than yourself. You can leave at any point, or push as hard as you like, no one can tell you to do anything. You do it for yourself, to become better.

being quiet not because of insecurity but because I just don't feel like it, maybe there is something wrong with me.

Why don't you feel like it? I am not saying you are insecure, or should all of a sudden talk to everyone, but you need to face your issues. You are the one who thinks something might be wrong. So go wrestle with your demons, they don't go away on their own. And even if you can't change them, knowing what they are will help you control them. After all you have to Know thyself motherfucker. No one is perfect, but own who you are and people will always respect you.

I got my first girlfriend ever thanks to that material i guess

What the actual fuck are you talking about. Thats like saying an engineering text book built a fucking building. You got your first girlfriend ever. You used resources to improve your skills, but those are YOUR skills. As soon as you use them, you own them, not a PUA. Be proud that you accomplished something. Don't let a bad ending spoil everything good that ever happened. Yea it got fucked up, but shit happens. So learn from it. You will be better next time. Why? Because you will make the effort to learn from your mistakes. Just because you fail, doesn't make you a failure. Because life is all about how you get up again.

make me feel like shit

I get it your down, face first in the grass and everything hurts. But its the first quarter motherfucker. Don't lay there pouting while the game goes on around you. Go play. Your team needs you. For fuck sakes man! You want some harsh words here they are. You have an obligation to be happy. Its like the stupid announcement about the oxygen masks on the airplane. You have to fix your own mask before you can help anyone else. You were granted the privilege of living on this planet as part of human society. Appreciate it by making yourself happy. Because, happiness is what gives you the strength to fight, to get up again and again, to succeed. Look around you. There are so many massive problems in our world, and so much misery. By making yourself happy, you are removing a little bit of misery from this planet. You owe that to every other person on this planet. Humanity needs you to be the best person you can be. We need you playing for our team, helping us solve our problems, not face down curled up in the dirt. Because that is the fucking awesome thing about people, that we always forget. People achieve success through happiness, and not the other way around. That is the miracle of humanity.

This is your journey. Your life, Your liberty, Your pursuit of Happiness. No one said it would be easy, but for fucks sake Enjoy It.

God speed.

Here have some fucking awesome videos that helped me: Who do you want to be! And: Success from Happiness

g77r7 · 2013-04-20T20:23:21+00:00

RSD Tyler made a couple videos about depression that really helped me after watching them a couple times.

Here's another great one

2013-04-20T20:22:53+00:00

self improvement
love yourself
start from point 1

2013-04-20T19:26:16+00:00

Hey man, I could easily call this story my own, as I am a 21 year old guy who went through the same thing, but I was able to overcome the trouble.

Your friend is completely right, you need to forget about her, all she is doing at this point is hurting you. You have to realize that whatever way you want to look at it, she broke up with you for another guy. Maybe it was a good reason, maybe it wasn't, either way, she doesn't deserve you. And the fact that she feels she has the room to call you and say shitty things, is bullshit. Bottom line, it's bullshit, and you don't have to take that. She has you wrapped around her finger and feels like she can manipulate to her feelings and is treating you like an animal, not a person. You need the control back in your life.

My advice, would just be to cut her off cold turkey. Remove all ties with her, delete her number so you are not tempted, delete her off facebook, and delete her out of your life. Now honestly, when you stop talking to her completely she will probably reach out to you in any way possible and tell you that she misses you and she's sorry for everything. From someone who has taken this apology and started back up a relationship from this, eventually you will find yourself back making this same post. Just let her go, as much as it may hurt, and the social shock it may put you through, forget it and move on. It's for the best.

Go to the gym, focus on your school work, hang out with your other friends, you are 21 now so go hit the bars with your friends, do anything to change your flow. You don't want to live like this forever, and you know it.

The_DukeDevlin · 2013-04-20T18:36:01+00:00

From what you've written, it sounds like she's got borderline personality disorder. I'd be glad to get out of that one, if I were you.

Title	21 year old, completely stuck and sort of depressed
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	11
Date	April 20, 2013 8:30 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1cqdsy/21_year_old_completely_stuck_and_sort_of_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/21-year-old-completely-stuck-and-sort-of-depressed.1350979 https://theredarchive.com/post/1350979

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