Tips on being direct without being needy?

badabingbadabang · 2013-06-27T05:27:02+00:00

Say what needs to be said. Nothing more, nothing less.

3 random ass scenarios :

After approach and before # close, tell her what you want to do: "I'd like to grab a drink with you next week (when you are free)"

On the topic of something like art, show interest and be interesting: "I think it's great that you paint, do you usually start your work off with a specific theme in mind or do you just let your hands run wild ?"

If she flakes last minute and doesn't respect your time, let her know how you feel : "Hey, I think it's a little rude to cancel so last minute. Let me know earlier next time please." - (This has reversed many flakes for me, not the same day but I'll get a call/text a few days later something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I double booked and had to do xyz. Can make it up on Wednesday or Thursday ?")

Random thought: Something I always say which always makes a girl smile is notice and comment on what they match their nails with. Maybe that's just my observational personality though.

recyclablebantha · 2013-06-27T07:58:47+00:00

I much prefer directness, but sometimes come across as desperate.

Directness won't come off as desperate, UNLESS you fail to address your own needs before you go out and interact with people. If you go into interactions in a weak position (confidence and self-esteem-wise) you'll reflexively taint whatever you do..... direct or not.

I want to learn how to give GENUINE compliments, whether it be looks, style, smell, whatever. Any advice?

Personally, I don't think that giving compliments about looks, style, smell or whatever, should be your priority. You don't NEED to give compliments in your initial reaction to make a connection with someone. Simple conversation is really enough. (Provided your skills are adequate. Of course, if they're not, then that's a whole other problem that compliments won't solve for you.)

And the problem is, if you're still gaining experience in pick up, there's the real risk that giving compliments will frame the interaction as lopsided in favor of the girl you're talking to. (Because you're giving her approval for free. It's not that compliments can't be pulled off. It's that they're often difficult to pull off in the early going without changing your frame into a less powerful one.)

[By way of example, I'm dating 3 women right now, and I didn't compliment a single one of them in my initial meeting with them. That's not to say that it couldn't have been done, but it's definitely NOT necessary.]

coolfahad76 · 2013-06-27T13:22:14+00:00

Honestly, if you are sincerely genuine with your comments, directness is the best. You can literally walk up to a HB9, tell her she looks 'freaking amazing and you had to talk to her', and as long as she knows how sincere you are with it, she'll be attracted. Being true on your intent with your compliments and being needy are two separate things. Sasha Daygame is a real good example of this :)

scrubzor · 2013-06-27T17:33:14+00:00

Just the act of being direct in itself displays non-neediness. Because you are not afraid to show your true intentions and display your vulnerability, you are showing that you are not dependent on an outcome. Not hiding your intentions, laying it all on the table, displaying vulnerability and putting yourself in a position where she could possibly reject you, shows that you have a supreme level of confidence. The directness will only come across as needy if you are using the directness as a tool to achieve a certain outcome. As long as you are displaying your intent from a place of pure self expression, saying it because its coming from your manly core, your actions are going to be congruent and present, therefore have a better chance of being received positively.

nittutt · 2013-06-27T23:57:00+00:00

Needyness is: Being more invested in other people's perception of you than your own.

Meaning, direct is not needy.

BurtShavitz · 2013-07-03T12:29:13+00:00

The right smile

jspliff1 · 2013-06-28T23:06:07+00:00

Then give a genuine compliment.

Don't really care about it, it should come.

shootphotosnotarabs · 2013-06-28T00:48:54+00:00

Don't mention smell.

Title	Tips on being direct without being needy?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	15
Date	June 27, 2013 5:05 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1h5sir/tips_on_being_direct_without_being_needy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/tips-on-being-direct-without-being-needy.1354560 https://theredarchive.com/post/1354560

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