Do I have to change my personality (Normally very shy) to get girls?

puaCurveBall · 2013-09-03T07:57:05+00:00

The short answer is yes. Becoming successful with women will change your personality in more ways than you can imagine right now.

If you want to "get girls", then you'll have to talk to them, you'll have to "make moves" with them. If this isn't part of your personality, then you'll have to change.

Just reading the basic seduction material in the sidebar and the top posts will already change your personality... this is not a bad thing.

It has been said that anyone who is the same person they were 5 years ago might as well be dead. Onwards and upwards! Never stop changing

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-09-03T09:20:18+00:00

In a sense, yes. The core parts of what make you you do not have to change.

As far as being secure, confident, and more concerned with your growth than the opinions of the women you talk to... yes, this all needs to change.

And not just so you can seduce hot women. Being more invested in your own opinions of yourself than others opinions of you just makes you a man, period. It will permeate all your interactions with others for the whole rest of your life, and give you a lot of peace.

I highly recommend you purchase a copy of Models by Mark Manson. A lot of what I just talked about is from that book. His whole approach is being so confident to the point that you can be vulnerable, express yourself and your desires in a completely honest fashion, holding nothing back. You will be very polarizing with women: some you will turn off, others you will turn on. That being said... if you aren't polarizing, all women, even women who are initially attracted to you, will eventually be turned off.

JMCosta · 2013-09-03T16:56:03+00:00

I had a conversation with my friend about personality vs behavior recently. He thought you can't change personality it's who you are. However you can change your outward behavior around others

Whether you believe you must change your personality or your not even able to change your personality doesn't matter. It is a must to change your outward behavior though.

Ex. I'm an introverted person if I'm not changing my behavior and just being myself I will almost always sit back watch what others do say extremely little. But for situations like talking to girls or leading a group project etc. I force myself to put on a different face to change how others see me for that situation.

If everyone was themselves all the time you'd have few types of people leading the charge. Even outside of pickup and girls you must adapt to changing situations and change your outward behavior.

knoekie · 2013-09-03T12:43:02+00:00

I don't think you should change your personality.. so don't ignore the things you like. But you could maybe become less shy. I wouldn't do this by pretending you like stuff you don't, but adjusting it a bit. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, because it depends on the changing part interpretation. I do think you will change, but I wouldn't call it that. I think it's a bit the same advise as the other people who are saying you should change your personality, just a different approach :)

Men4cE · 2013-09-03T17:54:18+00:00

How will they know they like you if they don't have the opportunity to know if they like you :)

2013-09-03T20:59:51+00:00

Pretty much yes. Being successful with women means being a go-getter. You have to make the moves, and you have to put yourself out there. If you won't, well barring meeting a 1-in-a-million girl who will do all the work for you, you'll end up alone.

recyclablebantha · 2013-09-04T07:41:24+00:00

Do I have to change my personality (Normally very shy) to get girls?

I'm uncomfortable with the idea of having to change who you are for the sake of picking up on girls. If you change too much, it will all be for nothing because you may change yourself into a person you don't want to be and then what do you think will happen when a girl falls for that guy? The whole thing will come down like a house of cards when you don't want to be someone you're not anymore.
Having said that, what do you think it is the source of your shyness? If it's a matter of confidence, you can address that without "changing your personality". If it's a confidence issue, then the solution would be better described as allowing your true self to come out.

Title	Do I have to change my personality (Normally very shy) to get girls?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	September 3, 2013 6:55 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lmovr/do_i_have_to_change_my_personality_normally_very/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-i-have-to-change-my-personality-normally-very.1357852 https://theredarchive.com/post/1357852

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