What does it actually mean to control your frame?

residentlifter · 2018-10-28T11:45:42+00:00

To me I mainly associate it with controlling my emotions. Remaining stoic, and unwavering to the opinions, influence, and suggestions of others. Mentally I lose control of it quite a lot, but I do my best not to show it.

The other day a girl at work said that I was nice. This took a huge hit to my ego mentally since I’m kind of an asshole and self amuse myself, sometimes at the expense of others. On top of that she’s aware that I hold some “sexist” beliefs. RP guys don’t really want to be called nice.

Another day, this fat bitch at work called me tiny. I took it as an insult even though fat people tend to say that to people 'smaller' (ie: not fat) than them. I said “Excuse me?” and she said “It’s a compliment.” I said “No, it’s really not.” I’m pretty muscular and well built, so I dismissed it in my head after thinking how much of a fat cow she is for the rest of the day. AKA I lost frame in my head and in person.

-tb0ne · 2018-10-28T12:53:25+00:00

There are a lot of elements to frame and I’m still wrapping my head around it. I think controlling your frame is essentially controlling your reactions and response to what others say and do. People will say things that press your buttons and often times, if not almost all the time, the best reaction is not to react. If you say something, use humor (agree and amplify). This keeps control of the interaction on your side and doesn’t allow you to expose emotional weakness, giving the other person dominance in the interaction.

Once you’ve purposely practiced doing this a couple times in day to day interactions, it’s astonishing how effective it is at controlling people and relationships. I imagine it’s something natural alphas do naturally but the rest of us have to learn.

christophertracy92 · 2018-10-28T14:31:06+00:00

Having yourself as your own mental point of origin..

redhawkes · 2018-10-28T11:39:24+00:00

It means read the fucking sidebar. This is TRP 101.

Title	What does it actually mean to control your frame?
Author	mysteryspoN
Upvotes	0
Comments	4
Date	October 28, 2018 11:25 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9s2hnn/what_does_it_actually_mean_to_control_your_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-does-it-actually-mean-to-control-your-frame.135947 https://theredarchive.com/post/135947

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