I have just gotten myself into a 'friends with benefits' relationship. I have never had sex, and I'd like some advice.

sharnam · 2013-10-26T06:54:22+00:00

How do I do this?

My advice is to ensure that u've set ground rules for pretty much any foreseeable situation. Every fwb is different (like a relationship) since the root of it all is whatever you (as two people) decide it is and agree upon. Two tenets of a fruitful fwb are trust and honesty. These will minimise any possible drama and keep u in the clear as well as making the whole thing a whole lotta fun.

On the topic of no emotions, its tricky since women in general are intensely emotional by nature. My understanding for a happy fwb is to embrace the emotions that flow in the moment. This will enhance the experience, a lot. Yes its just sex, but its sex with someone u consider a friend so it should have meaning. That meaning is not the same as it would be for a relationship. Its just something you two share which is casual fun. The emotions are more of enjoying each other than having romantic feelings for etc.. Hope that makes sense.

A couple of tips I can offer: try and do regular checks with the girl to gauge if she's still cool with the way things are. Its a friends with benefits so the advantage of developing the "friend" part aside from the sexytimes will keep everyone happy.

A possible red flag could be the exclusivity clause by the girl which may indicate her interest in you being for more than casual fun. Each fwb is unique so maybe not. On the topic of sex there are plenty of great posts on various subs which can help for first timers. Best of luck with your new fwb. Hope it goes awesomely for ya!

Relevant experience: 4 fwbs (1 sour, 1 happy ending, 2 ongoing)

tl;dr Mutually agreed upon rules are the shit. Trust, openness and honesty go a long way. Make sure to regularly gauge her for any signs of her intentions changing. With the sex, just remember to have fun w/o any judgement.

2013-10-26T06:35:15+00:00

Seems odd to be exclusive without having sex for a while first.. One of you invite the other over for a 'movie' and get it on, easy.

andiam03 · 2013-10-26T07:22:58+00:00

Casual sex, no emotions, exclusive? I can see several combinations of two of those working, but not all three.

readonlyuser · 2013-10-26T07:31:04+00:00

It's too soon to put labels on this. You guys haven't had sex yet, no need to rush and define what it is. Play it by ear.

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-10-26T17:20:39+00:00

If you have never had sex, she's not your FWB yet. I suggest you have sex first and worry about maintaining it only after there is something to maintain.

IntensePancakes · 2013-10-26T08:35:43+00:00

No emotions, but you have to be exclusive? Oh and she's a virgin?

I'd be careful with this one, you could get in too deep pretty quickly.

CharlieTango · 2013-10-26T09:02:36+00:00

Just being completely honest here, just save yourself the time and effort and date this girl. If you start hanging out + having sex with her on a regular basis, its only a matter of time before you catch feelings for her.

donit · 2013-10-26T14:29:58+00:00

Sometimes girls have selective hearing: keeping the good part and ignoring the bad. She might have only heard that the two of you are moving into a relationship.

Royale28 · 2013-10-26T17:06:18+00:00

You're going to break all the rules you set up, and get fucked emotionally in the process if you actually end up doing this.

That being said, this is a good time to get just have as much sex as possible?

Title	I have just gotten myself into a 'friends with benefits' relationship. I have never had sex, and I'd like some advice.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	October 26, 2013 6:28 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1p8tjy/i_have_just_gotten_myself_into_a_friends_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-have-just-gotten-myself-into-a-friends-with.1360553 https://theredarchive.com/post/1360553

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