NOTES

I'm mostly of the principle that you shouldn't put a whole lot of effort into texting. The content of what you say only amounts to 8% of our interactions, so you put 8% of your normal effort. This being said, I think in order to get there you need to practice saying the right things, which includes putting more than 8% effort into it.

A few suggestions for you guys:

  • It's okay to send two texts in a row. Sometimes I'll do it to add comedic emphasis, although it's best to get something funny out in one line.

  • match smileys. If she's using winky faces and haha's left and right, feel free to match (albeit less frequently). Same goes for the other extreme: If she doesn't use them ever, limit your smileys and haha's. This can impair your setting the tone, but you can progress.

  • Be wary of sarcasm. Sarcasm is 100% tone of voice, so it's easy to misconstrue sarcasm in text.

Main point:

Make it EASY for her to text you! Give her things to respond about. If she says things that are "conversation killers", that don't lead anywhere, just don't acknowledge them and place the ball in her court. If she doesn't want to talk she won't say anything more; if she rekindles conversation, though, it both shows her interest and reinforces her investment.

FIELD REPORT

edit: report removed
Although it is important, in my opinion, to put in a little more effort in the beginning, you shouldn't put a lot of effort into it. See my first note. In this report, I over-analyzed a simple, short conversation, that had the wrong tone from the beginning. In the future, I'll screen my posts more myself; thanks for the input guys!

The advice I gave above still holds true. If anything, the takeaways here should be don't put a whole lot of effort or energy into texting and you should make it easy for her to text you.

A conversation with a girl who's currently in my biology class and who has been in a class with me for the last two years, as well. She appears quiet on the outside, but once you get to know her you find out she's really straightforward and funny in a light-sarcastic kind of way. I've commented on what I said and why, and what I could've done better.

Please discuss in the comments! What did I do well, what did you like, what should I have done? What can you apply yourself?

Background: I uploaded pictures from a field trip to Facebook. She had taken a few funny pictures of herself with my camera, and I'd included one of those.