How to determine being courteous and being a push over.

psyocal · 2013-12-25T13:57:23+00:00

Are you doing it out of neediness for her affection, or because you want to do it?

A decent metric for this is: would you do it for some random (male) stranger? In the case of opening doors, the answer is probably yes (at least for me it is). In the case of offering your seat: it's no, and sitting down offers the added benefit that you can pull her into your lap!

bunhead13 · 2013-12-25T13:10:55+00:00

you really need to calibrate for every girl and every situation. Also, depends on your personality.

Personally, I don't whip out the chivalry too soon. But then again I'm not a total asshole either. such as when i am walking a girl to another location and there is a door, I will try to open it for her, but casually, I don't make it a big obvious gesture. I NEVER do things for them! If asked to buy a drink or any type of favors, I say NO! Also, If you are naturally "courteous" it's ok, learn to use that in favor...

you can use chivalry towards your advantage.

for Example:

Giving up your seat is actually one of my favorite moves to isolate a girl from the group. I offer her my seat, when she takes it i will makes a joke like "i was keeping it warm for you" and move on from there. Or even, i will offer my seat to one of the girls I'm NOT interested in and then make my way over to stand next to the girl i am interested in. while the friend is enjoying her seat, i talk/keno up the target.

HappyJerk · 2013-12-25T14:42:20+00:00

First of all, you are going to have to realize that you are biologically programmed to be nice to women, so you have to repress that. Also, society has taught you a bunch of bullshit about how to supplicate to women that is wrong.

That said, my rule of thumb is this: would you do it for a guy? If not, then don't do it. Did they do something to deserve that treatment? if not, don't give it to them. Pretty simple, actually.

flynavy88 · 2013-12-25T21:58:25+00:00

Being courteous and being a pushover are very different. Being courteous is quite simply being nice when you want to be nice. Being a pushover is when you do nice things for others that you normally wouldn't otherwise do, mainly because you expect something out of it. General rule I follow is, would I do it for a random male?

Things like opening doors are no big deal - if I'm in front and get to the door first, I don't have a problem opening it for others (of any gender) - and seriously though, when is opening a door being a push over?

Giving up a seat on the other hand? I wouldn't give it up for any random guy (cept the elderly or handicapped, of course) - and besides, it has the added bonus of being able to pull a girl on your lap or share a seat

gutaus · 2013-12-26T09:03:06+00:00

Easy.

Courteous is you offering her xxxxx. Push over is her taking from you xxxxx.

Title	How to determine being courteous and being a push over.
Author	PatMeGron
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	December 25, 2013 8:31 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1tnx0m/how_to_determine_being_courteous_and_being_a_push/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-determine-being-courteous-and-being-a-push.1363542 https://theredarchive.com/post/1363542

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