Could use some friendly advice!

HappyJerk · 2013-12-31T15:07:41+00:00

I am friends with this girl that I've been wanting to ask out for a few weeks now, but haven't found a good time to do it

There is no "good time." Just do it.

I'm slightly drunk and stop myself from telling her how I feel.

Whoa Whoa Whoa buddy. Asking her out and confessing your "feelings" to her are completely different things. The first thing is good, the second isn't. It's gonna freak her out if you're like "OHMYGOD I'm in love with you."

Is there any easy way to tell her without risking the friendship, or is this a silly fear to even have.

Well first of all you're fucked, so you should probably abandon ship. But if you really want to try, start talking to her and just be like "You know X, I really like you, I would totally date you if it wasn't for (some thing about her)." That way you showed interest but also disqualified her, giving both of you an out if she's not interested.

bl1y · 2013-12-31T16:27:44+00:00

There is no way to do this without risking the friendship. Decide in advance what you want and commit to that without trying to hedge your bets.

If she's a valued friend, then just keep her as a friend. Odds are if that's the case you're only asking her out because of scarcity mentality -- you don't think you can find another woman. That's a dumb reason to risk a good friendship, just get out to the bars more and meet some women.

Tempistfury · 2013-12-31T08:17:28+00:00

This is going to seem trite, but just ask her out. Tell her you want to go to dinner with her. Clarify that you are intact asking her out on a date. If she says no, then it'll be best to give her some space for a bit but don't TRY to ignore her or anything.

If she suddenly stops being your friend, then you dodged a bullet. Chances are she won't stop being your friend. But she might start being something more.

TL:DR, no serious consequences, but strong potential gains. If she's really that cool, ask her out.

Reddit_SLC · 2013-12-31T18:45:08+00:00

You are friend zoning yourself already man.

Start escalating flirting and kino ASAP.

Also, "telling her how you feel" is terrible! No, no no! You don't want to tell her. You want to show her. Do this by using steadily escalating flirting and kino until you start kissing her.

sharkacolypse · 2014-01-01T00:28:49+00:00

Ask her out on a real date. You are always risking a friendship in a sense, but most of the time you really aren't. I've had awkward no's from several girls and we were still friends after. A little time and space after a rejection will clear things up. Sometimes you don't need much of either if you play it cool. If you stay cool with her there may be interest down the road and you can try again, but don't get hung up on just her.

miketalking · 2014-01-01T02:31:00+00:00

hi

stop and think: why would you ask her out when you are already out with her together having fun and getting pissed?

Christ, you had it half made. next time, when such a glorious opportunity exists, make your move(s) then in the moment or man up and find a way earlier on to meet up outside of the group with her solo. for example, if the group was talking about yoga or comedy or music earlier in the night, use the old invitation of: "you should come with me to xxx, you would really love the xxx at xxx". if she rejects you, who cares. if she doesn't, game on.

just stop fixating on her and stop with this 'I don't want to make it awkward' (because even if you landed her, she would eventually break up with you and then you would return here seeking advice on how to get your ex back by not being the awkward just a friend now...)

brother, next time you're out with her and others, be cool and interact with other ladies too without coming across as game playing. show her and us you are not scared of girls.

just forget her and talk to other ladies. ladies want what they cant have. you tell her how you feel gives her the power to place you on her little shelve and keep you there for as long as she wants; and you'll have plenty of company.

learn from this one and don't repeat it with other ladies.

Title	Could use some friendly advice!
Author	NocturnalOwl
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	December 31, 2013 7:17 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1u2udy/could_use_some_friendly_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/could-use-some-friendly-advice.1363777 https://theredarchive.com/post/1363777

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