Hello,

I'm attempting to post in a new style, by presenting new and old ideas - sourced, and well explained - to the community, and creating a discussion.

Today we will be discussing a concept that I believe is often over-looked in the PUA culture. Nearly every guide will tell you that you need to "build attraction", or "hook", or "change venue", or "kino", or "transition", but what they do not tell you is what to do when you aren't engaging in one of those behaviors. If "building attraction" and "hooking" are the peanut butter and jelly of pick up, then conversation is surely the bread.

Today I would like to discuss conversations. This thread will focus on going BEYOND asking a beautiful women interview-style questions, and will go BEYOND teasing, "negging", and canned entertainment tricks such as "the cube".

A fantastic starting point is this thread on conversational threading.

The most important elements of the above post are as follows:

Men and women communicate differently.

Women communicate by sharing stories and empathy.

Everything a person says can provide the ability for you to share.

Here's a great example of the last point:

If a women mentions “I’m just shopping around for some jeans with my friends”

You can discuss:

  • Shopping (There’s this store on the second floor you’ll love…)

  • Jeans (I hope you’re not one of those who goes for ripped jeans)

  • Her Friends (Your friends seem like a great group of girls. How do you know each other?)

I believe that conversational threading can be accomplished in one of four ways:

1) Story telling.

2) Statements.

3) Statement questions.

4) Answering-your-own-question-statements.

Examples

Women says: "We spent a whole week at the Caribbean beaches. It was great but we all got sunburnt!"

Using Method 1) That's amazing. The last time I was in the Caribbean I remember how clear the water was, and I remember how amazing it was swimming with sting rays while I was there.

Using Method 2) Tell me about it, I went out for an hour at my local beach the other day and returned home bright red.

Using Method 3) "Wow, thats intense. Was there enough Aloe left at the supermarket when you got back?"

Using Method 4) "Wow, what did you do out there? The last time I was in the Caribbean I spent all my time hiking to waterfalls."

To break down the examples.

1) Example 1 - I related to the Caribbean and told a story.

2) Example 2 - I related to being sunburnt and made a statement. Not too much story telling here.

3) Example 3 - I relate to being sunburnt, and then ask a question.

4) Example 4 - I ask a question about the Caribbean and then answer my own question. This makes it seem less like an interview and more like a conversation.

Two of the above examples focus on being sunburnt, two on the Caribbean, but it goes on to show you that if you apply these techniques you can spawn a conversation from pretty much nothing.

At this point I wanted to discuss what to do if the conversation begins to lull, but with this post already being as long as it is, we can save that for next weeks discussion!

Questions for discussion:

How do you keep conversations moving forward?

Are there ways the above method can be improved?

What do you think of this format?