Staying Alpha in a LTR

kingcal · 2014-04-15T11:00:21+00:00

Don't stop dating her. Don't get complacent and think you've got her hooked and you can just sit around playing video games all day or turn into her lap dog. That's not who she wants to date. She wants to date the guy she first met.

The real issue is not how do you keep a girl interested, but how can you make the person she's attracted to initially the real you and not who you are when you think you need to impress someone.

whinemoreplease · 2014-04-15T12:13:54+00:00

There are so many crap answers here.

I'm married now. Nothing about what I picked up from PUA/seduction has stopped applying.

Always be giving value

This doesn't change. You are married. You should be giving value to your wife. You should be giving value to your friends. You should be giving value to strangers.

Respect yourself

Know your boundaries. Define them. Make them known. When someone is acting unacceptably, let them know. With your partner, this should go doubly. In principle, your boundaries have already been defined, so she is already constantly adding value to your life. If this ever changes, don't be afraid of walking away. Make this known.

Be selfish.

Get pleasure from improving people's lives. Continue living for yourself. This means take pleasure from making other people's lives better.

Be honest.

Don't start bullshitting. If you're unhappy or upset or worried or whatever, that shit can come out. Don't be a bitch. You're still the man. But life sometimes sucks and that's okay. You're committed to one another and helping each other (in theory).

Those three concepts should cover all major parts of a long term relationship and life in general.

telesto · 2014-04-15T12:13:35+00:00

Deep inner game. alpha shouldn't be something you should have to maintain, it should be who you are. the word alpha is shitty anyway, since there's much more to "alpha" than being tough and non-needy. You can be vulnerable and share you're emotions honestly and still be what I would consider alpha. Just make sure to keep your own values and goals in life and express them, because that is probably what she felt for in the first place, and if you start adjusting them to her needs and beliefs, chances are that she will slowly lose interest.

logi_thebear · 2014-04-15T08:13:07+00:00

Only tell her your problems if you've already figured out how to solve them, it'll make you appear weak. Otherwise, that's why you have man friends.

jrc12345 · 2014-04-15T08:11:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

yummyluckycharms · 2014-04-15T08:37:55+00:00

The truth of the matter is that when you start getting in LTR, say 6 months and up, you need to mix beta and alpha traits together.

The trick is, and it is tricky, is getting the right mix. So for example.....

1) I start off as alpha (decide what we are doing, where to eat, etc) 2) She lets me be alpha, so I ease back a bit and go beta 3) If she starts acting up - back to alpha until she cooperates 4) Rinse - repeat.

Its basically rewarding positive behaviour and punishing bad behaviour - but its always you determing the pattern. You cant go full tilt alpha all the time because its wears her down emotionally as shes always on edge. Its great when shes just a plate or fb, not so much when she has a meltdown talking to her parents

That being said, NEVER, start mixing your finances with hers. Reason being, is that you need to always have the ability to walk away if she doesnt behave. This is where your power comes from - having options. If you need proof, look into the eyes of men who have been married for a long time - they're dead - empty husks of their former selves.

JesperSB_com · 2014-04-15T07:59:35+00:00

have sex with more then 5 girls before.

So the girlfriend don't know if she is to big of a pain, you might go back to one of those.

Say no to sex, from time to time.

Sometimes the girl will withhold sex, as a means of getting her will. So from time to time, you should also withhold sex, just to keep the game even.

Flirt with other girls.

When you flirt with another girl, you remember that there are other options, than the dragon at home.

Become a confident man.

When you have confidence, then you are Alpha all the time. You have a strong inner game, so if you appear weak from time to time, it is okay, because you have the strength within.

Title	Staying Alpha in a LTR
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	April 15, 2014 7:50 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/232spd/staying_alpha_in_a_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/staying-alpha-in-a-ltr.1369248 https://theredarchive.com/post/1369248

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