Did some daygame today on Thursday. (actually yestarday since it's well past midnight).

I've done only 3 approaches because I was pussying out most of the time (like an hour or more), I say they were half-assed but I was solo and all the girls I approached were no less than 7, actually 2 of them were pretty hot. Last girl was pretty mean and I was a bit shocked (actually no idea why, it's not uncommon that girls act bitchy when being hit on). I left that last one after she responded "oh, cool, I don't wanna talk" in a bitchy manner.

I opened them all with compliment, 2 before bitchy one I also tapped (tapping is unstopable!) and I open almost all girls with "HEy I think you look " or "I have a crush on you!" - in my language it doesn't sound that bad.

1st girl's reaction was positive even though she had a bf. I waited for her in front of the shop because I pussied out too much and I've seen her before in a mall and decided that I go talk to her right after she leaves shop or go play victim at home or kill myself because there's nothing to do for me.

2nd girl was walking near fastfood area carrying her food. After tapping her and opener was responsive but I think she was stifled (no eye contact but still responsive and not cold!) and it occured she's 17 but looks 25 (And everybody thinks the same way according to her). I let her go with her food after getting her age but I really have no idea why i did not push it furher. She was hot. I think I pussied out because I thought her friends might be sitting somewhere near when she wanted to go towards tables(but still stayed and was responsive).

3rd girl was bitchy/ cold and interaction was just opener- rejection -shock- leaving.

Important things I remember

  • Being rejected in a bitchy/ cold manner actually kinda hurt and somewhat "pushed me back into my stifled/ victim/ unconfident/ state with limiting beliefs" - I wasn't exactly outcome independent.

  • I unstifled myself after approaching - I got positive reaction (sadly she had a boyfriend) so that might be it but I hope it was because I took action.

  • I care about opinions of others! - bad bad bad bad

  • I think about adding some fun but it's connected to my unstifling - I have to learn warming up quickly and unstifling, it's my priority right now.

After consulting with a friend my conclusion is:

  • As long as there are emotions in a girl it's cool. I should learn to plough and flip that shit and act congruent with my feelings at that moment eg. say what I really think of her when she's being a bitch.

  • My compliments are not exactly compliments since I expect some kind of reaction

  • 30 DAYS WITHOUT MY STANDARD OPENER - anything other than "Hey I think you look... and I had to come and say that or otherwise I'd be kicking myself/ regret/ cut myself" etc., sometimes very stupid and retarded but same scheme 95% of the time. I decided to leave them for girls when I really feel like it and it would be 100% congruent and special, not overused - preferably after getting to know her personality. For now I'll focus on situational and anything else than my default opener.

  • My friend had some situations where girls was a bitch and told him to fuck off... and he closed 2/3 anyway.

  • I still care about opinions of others, not only girls maybe even more than girls.'

EDIT: I've just realised I was not having fun - I mean i felt good after approaching first girl even during that interaction but I think I was boring - just typical conversation without "something". I should consider this in future to try putting out more energy and playfulnes - I know I can do it.

ANOTHER EDIT: I forgot to add I stopped taking SSRI meds (anti-depressants, actually for my panic attacks/ anxiety) on Wednesday! Let's see what happens in a few weeks.