I am currently heading for a divorce, seen the lawyer once, will be filling papers after the Easter.

Today, after a solid dose of TRP, I realized, that divorce could not be really as bad as I think and - perhaps - there is nothing to be afraid of...

First, I am already in a shitty situation, 7yrs marriage + 2 kids. Not "ordinary marriage". Blue-pill-me mariage. I was cheated on. Not once, perhaps. I was a betamax. I was called "shit" in front of my kids. I was punched in my face and I let her get away with it. But... finally, I got to a point where I am wiser and braver. And, I know TRP now. And I am no longer afraid to take the lead of my own life. So, this point is good for me - I fill the divorce papers, I am no longer beta.

Second... I spoke with a colleague and he told me, that divorce is a shitty situation for the kids. Well, I think just the opposite, as having alfa-father is perhaps a better thing, than having a beta-father who gets abused by his wife, anyway... I just realized: is there any problem for my wife to like me or to treat me okay?

After the divorce - would I mind a BJ from her? I think I would not. I would just be extremely careful not to get her pregnant, but I don't mind hitting on her again, IF SHE TREATS ME OKAY, stops controlling me and stops giving me shit. This may never happen, but whatever - if I stay in this marriage, this will NEVER happen for sure.

So, I just imagined a situation - after the divorce - where my wife treats me okay, we bang from time to time and we spend some time with the kids, together. Impossible? I don't think so. We currently don't do any of those, and I see that as my fault - I was beta to the maximum. And, if she treats me bad, I just leave. Just like I do now. Also, after the divorce, I can bang as many women as I want, legally. Right now my wife catches me cheating and it is a game over for me, I'll have to pay her to the end of my life. So, let's get back to the "when I bang women after the divorce" part... my wife might be one of them, but if she really treats me the way she does now, she won't be.

I realize, that she treats me like shit and I want her out of my life, but in case she can control herself - I don't mind her. Hey, I'm catholic, I should forgive... IF SOMEBODY ASKS FOR FORGIVENESS... I don't want to live with internal anger till the end of my days.

So, the second point is also good. This may be a step for me to get back to my once-alfa-attitude. Yes, I think I was alfa in the past, but then I started to believe, that this is BAD if a man has many women and I should change this behaviour. Of course, I learnt this from women.

Money... yes, I am going to pay for the kids anyway. Perhaps this even will be cheaper for me than it is now -- when she's out of my flat, I can rent 2 rooms and have those money to cover the alimony or at least part of it. So, third point, chances are that money will not be an issue.

Did I forgot anything?

How are your RP relationships with your ex-wives doing?