One of the most common things new guys deal with. I posted this a while back somewhere and got a lot of great feedback but I still see a lot of threads on here talking about this very topic, so I figured I'd share this here.

If you are having problems getting a spark in your conversation read this guide and do everything I tell you, and you'll be fine as wine...

1 - Basic Basic - Random Noun Generation Drill - I won't even edit this homework exercise I give guys straight from my bootcamp.

http://www.desiquintans.com/noungenerator.php - This is to help you be able to come up with conversational topics on the fly - to avoid running out of things to say. Do this once a day EVERY DAY - of course the more you do it the better you will get so feel free to do it more often. You will generate 10 words. I would like you to create a story using the words IN ORDER. Recite out loud without trying too hard to think ahead. The goal is to be able to work out a story on the fly very quickly. The END goal is to be able to wing off your conversations with women and talk about virtually anything.

Tie the story together to make sense.

**Example with 3 words:

Joseph Measure Pediatrician**

WRONG - Joseph is a cool guy. I use my ruler to measure. My kids got sick so I took them to the pediatrician.

RIGHT - So I was chilling with my friend Joseph the other day. We were trying to measure the size of his new deck I was helping him build. All of a sudden we get a call from his wife, who tells us his daughter got sick from eating something and that she had to be rushed to the pediatrician.

Notice the difference? One is random bullshit - the other makes sense. You don't get to write these words down into a story - You should be able to do this on the fly and out loud in a conversation.

2 - Learn a Routine or Two - I know people in the new-school of pickup have mixed feeling of using routines as not being "authentic" or some such nonsense, but when you have NOTHING to say, it's good to add a couple canned things to the mix just to get your mouth moving. If you memorize and practice (in the mirror) a couple cool ass routines you can use them for a while as training wheels because what you think is your problem (not knowing what to say) isn't really your problem (fear), but we'll get to that in a moment. For now, get a couple good routines to try, and I don't mean cheezy openers, I mean shit you can talk about to a girl. There are thousands of routines all over the internet but I'll link you up with a short article that has a short selection of Super Solid ones that my wingman Sonics created back in the day. He has Shitloads of success so these are pure gold.

Sonics's Routines and Techniques

3 - Confront your fear - Almost every guy I take on bootcamp says the same thing at first, and then once we handle it it's like BAM, they are getting laid. They say, "I don't know what to say."

But the thing is, what that really is, is your EGO playing FEAR tricks on you. If you think about talking to your friends, or people you know well, ask yourself this question, "Do you know what to say to them?"

And I'm willing to bet that never stops the conversation from flowing.

So what's really going on? EGO doesn't like to admit that you're (it's) afraid. So it make convenient masks for your fear like, "I don't know what to say", then it attaches that thought to you and instead of, "I'm afraid to go talk to those girls," you think, "I don't know what to say."

The reality is, that once guys get past their fear of approach, and get over their fear of being in set, they start talking to women, NO PROBLEM.

I have seen students, with a little work, go into sets just a couple hours of saying," I don't know what to say," and they are sitting there talking to girls for like an hour, making out, and leaving with them.

I have also seen a few of them talk to a chick for 20 minutes and then tell me later, "I still don't know what to say."

Then I say, "Ok. So remember that girl you were talking to for 20 minutes? If you didn't know what to say you wouldn't have been in that conversation for 20 minutes. So apparently you DO know what to say, and you have, up until now, been bullshitting yourself.

So whenever, from now on, you feel that thought, "I don't know what to say," go anyway. If you are practicing steps 1 and 2 you will be much better off anyway but ALWAYS challenge your limiting beliefs.

4 - AGENDA Driven - So this one is tricky. Another reason you get choked up about what to say is the AGENDA of, "I want something from her." Once we all find out about game, we also come to the realization that we want something from women. Well, that tends to make it difficult for guys because they go into sets thinking, "I don't know what to say... ...so that this woman will give me a blowjob later" The thought in italics (or a similar 'I want something' from her thought) is almost silent to the point of not noticing. But it's there. Trust me. Otherwise WHY would anyone CARE if they knew what to say or not?

So the key is, learn to let go of the AGENDA. Become OUTCOME INDEPENDENT. Right now you are learning a SKILLSET. So allow yourself to NOT be attached to your agenda of what you want, or the outcome of the conversation. Get in there and mix it up and even when you don't know what to say, fucking STAND there for a couple, few minutes and take the heat so you get used to uncomfortable silences.

Another thing you can do is, if you like her and/or things are going well, say, "You know what? I ran out of things to say. Your turn."

If she likes you back, she will totally make an effort.

5 - Mindset - If you listen to a group of women, they have NO structure to their topics of conversation.
On my FB group I wrote this one night.

"I go out, sometimes, even when I got work to do and take my laptop with me to do shit OUT. So, I just wanted to repost something I just posted on the main board.

Guys are always trying to figure out what to talk to girls about.

4 girls at a table. I am listening as I drink my red wine.

-Biscuits and Gravy -French Toast is better than Pancakes -Blueberry syrup is disgusting -My dad is gonna be 60 -She looks so much older than my dad -Pharmacy -Something about the dentist and getting something for a whole year which is -awesome -Hard to tell but then back to food

This is about 3 minutes of my time paying attention.

Moral of the story - they are ALL over the place. If you are a guy trying to figure out the right thing to say you are wasting your time. They don't even have a thread. They just talk about everything. Now they are talking about the drinks they just got. "Who's gonna go first?" "It tastes like blah blah." "It's not gross at all..."

Now they are talking about Trannys and fighting... Oh wait. Nope. Changed to she still has a sticker on her car and on to something else faster than I can type."

Don't get so caught up in what to talk about. Honestly you can probably talk about Toothpaste if you are doing it in a fun, interesting or passionate way.

But the MAIN step to all this is, GET IN THERE and MIX it up. Fuck what your mind (ego) tells you, you can and can't do. Go anyway. Get over that fear, use a few training wheels to get there and soon you will be swimming in vagina juice. ;)

BONUS - Momentum - So here's something you can start to do NOW. Start creating for yourself a persona that is NATURALLY social. The way to do that is yo go out and start chatting up everyone. That means, old people, guys, the lady at the counter of the grocery store, random people who look interesting. Create that vibe in yourself of being the normal social guy. You can start out by just going down a crowded street and saying 'Hi' to like 10 or 20 people, WITHOUT worrying about how they react, respond or even if they do. Then when you're at a coffeeshop you can try to strike up a quick conversation with someone in line, or the barista. Wherever you are just kind of start chatting someone up. At first you will feel clunky but you are building momentum. Trust me. Once you build that momentum over time what you used to think was difficult will seem easier and new challenges will arise.

The bonus to this is two-fold. 1 - When you do this over time you will feel, think and act more social naturally. 2 - Your vibe will change so that NOW when you approach those women you want, you will PROJECT on some level to her that YOU are NATURALLY social, that it's not just the women you talk to. And that will make the conversation flow much easier.

Bonus 2 - IMPROV Classes - If you want something fun to do, take an Improv class. That's exactly what they teach - how to talk, act when you are on the fly.

Lot's of stuff in this post - get to work ... ;)

Questions, Comments, Concerns?