My best friend is fucking the girl I like. The hell do I do?

nugboots · 2015-04-21T04:19:39+00:00

To answer the question: Don't tell him. It'll only hurt your relationships with Joseph and Hannah.

To give further advice: You have become emotionally attached to Hannah seemingly without any genuine sexual chemistry or intimate moments. (No, some good conversation that one time does not count.) This is a sign of scarcity mentality, and it will keep getting you hurt. Settling down on one girl you "like" backfires horribly when that girl doesn't reciprocate your feelings, as you're finding out.

You should develop an abundance mentality instead, where you "like" lots of girls at once, and in a more proportional manner. (i.e. you stop yourself getting carried away with the attachment before you two actually get together.) The two major methods of doing this are 1) Experience - pursuing lots of other women instead to build reference experiences, and 2) Epiphany - realising on a deep, emotional level that while every girl is special, there are lots of them and they're an infinitely small segment of your possible life experience.

Don't be mad at Joseph for stealing your girl. She never was your girl. Even if she was, you waited too long and she lost interest. Hannah can either crush you as "the one that got away", or she can be a catalyst for your personal development... and in a few years, you'll look back on this situation fondly and marvel at how you ever got so attached to a girl who now might not even meet your standards.

Your call.

TheHandyHipster · 2015-04-21T04:41:04+00:00

Unfortunately, he beat you to the punch. I understand jealousy as much as the next faceless Internet user; but (as much as it sucks) you can't hold it against Joseph if he genuinely didn't know your feelings for this broad. If he did know and pursued her anyway then it would be a different case. In my opinion, you have to let her go. Women come and go but friends are worth their weight in gold. A true friend wouldn't create friction or tension in another friend's romantic endeavours. If you are uncomfortable with him telling you about their intimacy then jokingly change the subject. At the end of the day, you are the outsider in this situation... You like your buddy's girl. You must decide if the loss of your friend is worth the slim possibility of "getting the girl". It'd make you the bad guy, and ultimately drive them closer together. I'm sorry if that's harsh but I'm being 100% sincere.

ScepticalProphet · 2015-04-21T04:26:29+00:00

This isn't his fault at all. Move on and take your attention off the girl. It'll stop hurting when you have someone new to obsess about ...

onetimeiwasahero · 2015-04-21T04:27:27+00:00

No. Be a man and step back. He likes her too.

Title	My best friend is fucking the girl I like. The hell do I do?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	April 21, 2015 4:02 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/33bh1w/my_best_friend_is_fucking_the_girl_i_like_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-best-friend-is-fucking-the-girl-i-like-the-hell.1387012 https://theredarchive.com/post/1387012

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