Approaching girls who MIGHT have a boyfriend?

candid_salad · 2015-05-25T09:50:57+00:00

"Hey [girl's name], I know this may seem a little random, but I think you're really cute, and I'd love the chance to get to know you better. What do you say you and I grab a cup of coffee this weekend?"

This opener is fine, if a little wordy. You don't need to rush through the whole interaction in the open. I might actually start a regular conversation with her first and then use this to setup a date but it's totally up to you.

Also, put the fact that she might have a boyfriend out of your mind. You should never calibrate for situations that might come up. If you want to find out whether she's single then just ask her at some point in the interaction. Don't let it psyche you out before you've even talked to her.

One last thing is that you're focussing on this one girl. It's fine to get advice for a particular girl that you want to ask out, but don't make a really huge deal out of it. If she happens to reject you or she does end up having a boyfriend it's not the end of the world and you can use the experience to help talk to other girls in the future.

Good luck!

oritogpe · 2015-05-25T13:20:15+00:00

im with /u/candid_salad. Start a casual conversation and in middle of the conversation ask her out. Being quiet all the semester and then suddenly trying to pull all your game seems a little canned.

Do not make it a question. "What do you...?" no. Tell her. "Lets grab a cup of coffee this weekend".

If she does reject you the reason doesn't really matter, just brush it off, keep the conversation for a little while and then make your leave. Be sure to be smiling, thats what i would do anyways.

mal_one · 2015-05-25T10:06:38+00:00

Being in this forum, you should be very familiar with all the content from RSD. If your not, take the time to view and understand their philosophy on rejection. Outlined here :

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MgJieS1WV30

SiXXEros · 2015-05-25T15:56:58+00:00

To answer the title, because honestly everything else after that is just rationalization and trying too fucking hard, every woman might have a boyfriend. They also may come with these features as well: possibly married, lesbian, grieving a loved one or their dog or their cereal tasting bad, on their period and in a fit, not in the mood to talk, has two boyfriends at the same time, or may just want someone to say "Hello, I'm SixxEros. What's up stranger?"

The point is just go find out and don't plan ahead for counter moves and make it us vs them instead of normal conversation.

Do you really think you need to take days to plan how to find out if one particular woman is single? Your time frame should be all of 3 seconds... Hey, she's hot... I want to know more... I am walking over to find out her truth. I feel awesome. It's a really nice chain of events when you just plant one foot in front of the other and accept the current moment and that there is nothing you can do but go forward. Always forward... Until use take a step back then push forward again. Don't target fixate on the possibility of failure. Create an environment for yourself to succeed and when that environment is yourself why would you give so much its creation and your worth to people you barely know?

First approach or a hundredth approach... Own the moment.

recyclablebantha · 2015-05-25T16:02:12+00:00

Approaching girls who MIGHT have a boyfriend?

This is not a worthy consideration, though you might think it to be. If she has a BF, she'll let you know. If she's dishonest and has a BF, do you really expect her to answer honestly anyway? But it doesn't matter because even then, she'll give off signs of having a BF.

The thing is, I recently discovered from a friend of mine in her group (the professor randomly assigned us into groups at the beginning of the semester, and I wasn't chosen for hers in case you were wondering), that she may have a boyfriend. He's not really sure.

Avoid getting caught up in intel gathering through 3rd parties. Unless you observe it directly, take it with a grain of salt.

"Hey [girl's name], I know this may seem a little random, but I think you're really cute, and I'd love the chance to get to know you better. What do you say you and I grab a cup of coffee this weekend?"

Look, you're planning this out way too much. This is not speech class. You're making it WAY too difficult.

"I know this may seem a little random, but I think you're really cute," You don't need to rationalize or explain yourself here. This whole part is unnecessary. Let it go.
"and I'd love the chance to get to know you better. Show her this, don't tell her this. It's weaker to tell. Stronger to do. How to show her this? Walk up and talk to her. Say whatever is on your mind after that class. Make an observation, ask a question. Something related to what was just happening. Then you get out of your head by LISTENING to her completely. None of this planning your words out. That is going to make things difficult.
"What do you say you and I grab a cup of coffee this weekend?" This is going to put more pressure on you than is necessary. Chat with her first about whatever you're observing in class and about the situation. Then if it goes well, tell her that you want to stay in touch and you exchange numbers with her on the spot. This business of "grabbing a cup of coffee this weekend," and assuming you're going to just rush to this right out of the blue.... It's potentially awkward.

If she does have a boyfriend, I'm not gonna tease/neg her, or attempt to use a "boyfriend destroyer", I'm just gonna respect her relationship and then probably close with "Can't say that I'm surprised" or "Well, he's a lucky guy" followed by a "see you in class", all while being nonchalant, and flashing her a smile.

It's potentially rather awkward to follow up with something like this. If you're a noob, it'll be rather difficult to be "nonchalant" after your hopes have been dashed. Just take the low-hanging fruit here and say something simple like, "Oh, okay."

spikey88 · 2015-05-25T15:06:14+00:00

A while ago i asked a girl out. I cant remember exactly how i asked her word for word. However, straight away she replied with "ahhh im so sorry but i have a boyfriend."

Now what came into my head next, I cant remember i heard it from someone or somewhere but I replied with "Well you know, Soccer teams have a goalkeeper, but I can still score a goal"

She burst out laughing and I put my phone in her hand. She typed in her number and we ended up meeting a few times. I guess sometimes you have to give them the excuse that they sub consciously want to pop up.

Title	Approaching girls who MIGHT have a boyfriend?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	6
Date	May 25, 2015 7:55 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/376j4i/approaching_girls_who_might_have_a_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approaching-girls-who-might-have-a-boyfriend.1388641 https://theredarchive.com/post/1388641

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