Hey guys,

I've been a long time contributor but I've been on a Reddit hiatus for some time. I haven't logged in a while due to other commitments. I've been living the best life I can live and I'm enjoying it. This awesome community is the reason why I am so happy.

I've been recently going on several dates and it's incredibly easy to get a date. A lot of you may find this very hard and very frightening. It is scary but not hard so for old time's sake, I will contribute a simple guide to asking a girl out.

Here is the guide:

Today we will review the following-

  • 1. Determining the method of communicating your question.
  • 2. Developing a plan on asking her out
  • 3. Further logistics

Determining the method of communicating your question:

The common question a lot of guys ask is, "Should I call/text/ask her in person?" The answer is, it depends. A lot of girls say they'd rather be asked out in person and at the very least the guy should call. The truth is, a lot of people - not just women - don't like calling each other and some really hate texting.

So what should you do? Ask her out in whatever method you normally use to communicate with her. If you two normally text each other then text her. If you two normally call each other then call her. If you see each other from time to time - perhaps you two go to the same school or work in the same building, etc. - then ask her out in person.

It's really that simple. If you two normally text each other and she has not shown initiative to call you or has not complained that you never call, then she is comfortable with texting. You'd freak her out if you suddenly called her. Same with texting if you normally call, she'd think you're a lazy coward if you texted her with the question. Don't be afraid to use your normal method of communication. A lot of girls prefer texting and I've asked them out on a date with a text and get a positive response. Don't be afraid to ask her out when you first meet her, assuming the conversation is going well.

TL;DR; Ask her out in whatever method you normally use to communicate with her. If you two normally text each other then text her. If you two normally call each other then call her. If you normally see each other then ask her out in person. Don't be afraid to ask her out when you first meet her, assuming the conversation is going well. What do you have to lose?

Developing a plan on asking her out:

This may sound confusing but it really isn't. When you ask her the question, you shouldn't just say, "Wanna go out on a date sometime?" Even if she says yes it isn't a guarantee that you will actually go out with her. You didn't specify when, where, or what. So for all we know you two will go out on July 8th, 2025 and you'll go to the movies and watch Iron Man 10.

Here is an example of a fuck up. Let's see if this looks familiar to you:

You: Hey, Herpina. I was wondering if you'd like to go out on a date sometime?

Herpina: Sure! I'd love to!

You: Cool!

Herpina: Yeah!

You: So um, what day works for you?

Herpina: Umm... I don't know. Maybe next Saturday?

You: Great! So um... what do you want to do?

Herpina: Umm... I don't know. What do you want to do?

You: I don't know. Whatever that is cool/fun/whatever you want to do.

Asking her out without having a plan is the worst thing you can do. It shows her that you didn't think this through, you have no initiative, and you're pretty boring. We are men and we have to take charge. So when you call/text/see her, ask her out with a specific time and date and with a specific activity. So here goes:

You: Hey, Herpina. Would you like to go out for drinks/dinner/bowling/etc. this Friday evening?

You: I want to take you out on a date. How does dinner this Saturday at 7pm sound?

You can really put your own twist on the question just as long as you make it clear that you are asking her out on a date and you already have a date and time and something specific. This makes it easier for both of you, you already have logistics worked out. In my experience of failure and success, women are much more receptive to a man with a plan.

TL;DR; Ask her out with a date, time, and activity in mind. Don't ask, "Wanna go out sometime?" and when she asks what you want to do, don't reply "I dunno, what do you wanna do?" Be specific, "Hey let's go out this Saturday evening for dinner." Women are much more receptive to a man with a plan.

Logistics:

This kind of goes back to the second point. You two are grown so work out the logistics. Tell her what time and where you will go. Determine if you will pick her up or if you will meet her there, whatever works for both of you. If you show you are a level headed and mature man you will make a good impression.

Have backup plan in case she isn't available on the date you want to see her. If she isn't available on the day you want to see her, simply offer another day that is convenient for her. If she is indirect and keeps beating around the bush about going out or if she refuses, don't be afraid to walk away. Politely tell her to have a good day and move on, she was no good for you anyway.