Here is the thing, I was recovering from depression, I sort of limited my interaction at work, but there is this one girl there who lived around my area, she's alright -- She's not hot -- i give her 7, she's not book smart, she's not into asking questions, but she is smart and confident in a worldly manner, she's cool, typical, balanced girl (as far as I now).

Initially, I joined her in our commute to home in the evenings so as not to be rude, but then I started to get hooked on her, I was starving for female energy/company, and there she was.

I guess she wanted me to ask her out for the first few months. But at first I had no interest at her, then I had interest but lacked confidence or know how. By the time I had courage enough to ask, she was taken -- by some miserable asshole I assume.

But I still liked her, so i still joined her in the commute to home. Like a puppy/bitch hybrid, Just to be around her, never mind some dude is banging her.

But i was trying to be less dependent on her for a while, But every time night came, i choose her company instead of the solo trek.

A few weeks ago, I used the word f**k with the asterisks to refer to a situation on IM with her -- it was my last statement before signing out, After 3 or 4 days, chatting on IM again, she asked me to explain, and basically told me to never use that word with her.

Who the fuck does she think she is?

Does she not realize that the ONLY reason she was able to say that to me was because i liked her and let her close?

The only reason i don't tell her to go die, the only reason I didn't bite her head off was because she's someone I am expected to work with

She, giving me lessons in morality, her plain, unchecked, unquestioned, unproven, instinct-of-the-herd morality to me? ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

How in the world did I manage blind my senses, to let myself fall into such an obvious pit of misery.

She has avoided our commute with me since that episode. It is not just that i liked her, it's the rejection.

I feel like screaming like Hugh Jackman in the Wolverine, except i'm only 5.9 and don't have metal claws.

I can't cut her out fully because i have to talk to her at work from time to time. I'm ashamed to say, the bitch in me finds it very convenient -- that side still wants her, her approval? she's not even my type.

So I'm forced to only one path. Path of keeping appearances.

I am the only one to blame here, all i can do now is cut my losses.

I guess I know what, if anything can make this business of cutting losses more efficient and less prone to the bitch showing its face.

Also, please feel free to drop some knowledge. If there are lessons I haven't learnt from this. Is there anything here that can make me feel better?

tl;dr; Oneities suck, avoid them at all cost.

EDIT Fixed some grammar, Added a tl;dr;

Also, I've downgraded her from 7 to 6

And thank you all for your advice and for giving me a frame of reference, It's only been a few days, but my head is clearing up a lot.