Depressed due to lack of success/drive for pickup.

pianobrah · 2015-08-31T20:22:00+00:00

You have to start living a positive lifestyle if you want to attract people. Right now the way you're living sounds depressing and no one is going to want to share that with you. You must have some greater ambition for your life than fapping in your moms house. Pursue your passions, get a job, continue to hit the gym, socialize with everyone. You will get there.

AngriestBird · 2015-08-31T21:56:27+00:00

Tough love bro your mentality is fucked up.

As a man you should value yourself even if things aren't perfect. That means remaining confident even if she doesn't reply. (Probably should ignore her entirely, then she will start wondering about you). Remaining a little confident despite challenges. Remaining confident despite some women being taller.

Your lack of motivation is a lie. You just posted, that takes motivation. Depression sometimes is motivation. You are just mislabeling it or you lack the emotional maturity to transmute it into motivation. Instead of saying "I shouldn't touch fire" you are sitting there saying "my hand hurts because of fire and I don't want to cook anymore."

It sounds like your problem is that mentally you are weak as fuck despite your gym habits; the simple solution is to I dont know, take up martial arts because black belts tend to be psychologically strong. Just any social situation where you are surrounded by strong people.

One day you might meet a girl your scumbag brain really likes and suddenly you wish you had all together. Or some life event might intervene.

So my tips are

Do a pattern interrupt to stop what you are doing. This could be making or bed or styling your hair or dressing well. Stop your habits and try new ones.
After the pattern interrupt you need to try new things to improve yourself. You need to start vowing to do something interesting instead of just wishing about it.
You need to pattern intterupt self devaluing messages and show them the door. Start choosing yourself. Watch shia labeuof's video.
Find conventions for your interest. You might find strong, successful, or motivational people there. Suddenly you will have a crisis where you question why you havent reached your potential. Maybe you need to take a trip elsewhere and that will stop some of your bad habits and give you perspective.

Also, think about if you really want to just get laid or would you prefer intelligent, creative, top notch women in your life.

Edit: one more thing. 24 is not that old. You have enough time but only if you stop. fucking. around. Choose yourself. Get serious.

Shitstarlord · 2015-08-31T21:03:25+00:00

you must start on yourself. fix yourself. get passionate about something. if you cant, try everything and anything so that you might find something you are passionate about. start making goals (asides from banging women). pursue a career. i promise you if you stay the way you are now you will not have success with women. dont think about women right now when you have to work on yourself.

i know women on a night out dont know the way you are but at most you will get a one night stand and the girl will realize you have no goals, no passions, no career.

PS. you have an almost 5 inch circumfrence dick? thats ridiculous!

Morokweng · 2015-08-31T21:48:04+00:00

I live in a town of 120,000 people in the north of England

Hey me too.

Everyone on a night out knows everyone, and i feel if i were to approach a woman, she would know that i'm just trying to get in her pants.

Is that a bad thing? Are you ashamed of your desires? Do you feel that you are unworthy of having your needs met or that you don't deserve a normal adult relationship?

If you go up to a girl being ashamed of your own intentions then you're pretty much guaranteeing that she'll react negatively too.

I crave validation from women, when I don't get a text back or a trail goes stale, I start to think that they all despise me. When i watch Tyler walking right up to women and just grabbing them and seeing their warm responses to him, instead of doing what the video intends to do and bolster my confidence, it just brings it down because i feel that I'll never get a reaction like that out of a woman.

Well at least you recognize the problem. Girls come easier when they're not the most important thing in your life.

Another thing that holds me back, is my sexual preferences. I would rather have a woman dominate me than me dominate her

This might be a fantasy thing rather than a sexual preference. Guys who have a lot of sexual shame use fantasies and porn to enter a trance-like state in order to suppress their sexual shame for long enough to get off. The things that you like in porn and fantasy aren't necessarily the things you want or need in sex, unless you need some element of fantasy in sex to facilitate the suppression of your shame. The shame itself is the core issue that needs to be addressed.

I'm 24 years old,. 5ft 10, I've slept with 3 women. I don't have a job and to be honest, i have no real drive or motivation to get one. I live with my mother and just play Computer games in my spare time. The only thing i do consistently is hit the gym. I have a 5.5 inch by 4.8 inch penis

You're a dumbass. 5'10 is the male average height for the entire western world, your dick is within acceptable bounds, and the size of a girls vagina doesn't necessarily correlate with her height or BMI, I don't know why you'd think that. Stop being an insecure faggot. Though you should get a job, since if you're going to invite someone into your life, you should have a life that is somewhat reasonably in order.

So, does anyone have any advice on where to start?

Here you go. You read like a case study out of this book. Also read Models by Mark Manson, similar kind of thing but more focused on getting girls.

volker06 · 2015-09-01T00:24:48+00:00

A good place to start with picking up any women is yourself. Rebuild your life, get experience, read, go to school. Do whatever it takes to remold yourself into the person you want to be. Afterward, you go about finding the girl of your dreams.

In the ways of rejection, accept it. Think about your approach, what you discussed and ask yourself all of the important questions. How can you approve? How can you change? What did you learn? Remember, I mean this in all aspects of life, that rejection, failure, mistakes, so be it, if you can learn from them, they're things that are good for you.

When it comes to girls, learn about them. See them for who they are rather than what they are. They'll pick up on that. When you do start talking about with them, be confident and be able to talk about yourself too. Women want guys that have plans on how they want to better themselves and those around them. They also want guys that are able to help them achieve their own success. Relationships are about trust, support, communication and honesty. It sounds superficial but it can take you far.

2015-09-01T02:50:08+00:00

I've read all the comments, Thanks for all your time and advice. I'm going to not focus on women for a while, try get my career and life on track, and see how that goes.

criveros · 2015-09-01T05:30:07+00:00

Become an event promoter

Title	Depressed due to lack of success/drive for pickup.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	48
Date	August 31, 2015 8:09 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3j4l7v/depressed_due_to_lack_of_successdrive_for_pickup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/depressed-due-to-lack-of-successdrive-for-pickup.1393406 https://theredarchive.com/post/1393406

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