I'm a late 20s grad student. I belong to a university club which is mostly made up of women and tends to have a lot of social events. I've also developed a reputation for being very outgoing and unapolagetically direct and confident just through the way I interact with people. Women like me but I seem to have a really hard time sealing any deals... Still some success has been had... So sit back... Relax... Get some popcorn and enjoy the story....

Two days ago a bunch of us decide to go out for dinner after a club social event. My FWB (yes, I have an FWB in the club and she is aware that I am dating other women) offers me and a few people a ride. It also turns out that one of the girls that has been giving me some signs is going too. Just before we leave she tells me that she was going to ask me to go to this place with her that night but she didn't expect us to be going out as a group and that we can do that another time.

We get to the restaurant and I sit across from my FWB at this long table. The seats start to fill up and the other girl decides to sit next to me. I immediately realize that the FWB is not happy about this so I text her to see if she's going to be okay and then proceed to try and avoid getting too touchy with the girl sitting next to me. And it wasn't easy. She was obviously there just to talk to me and she made several attempts to escalate with me from leaning on me, throwing her arms around me to hug me to offering me a sip of her drink (indirect kiss) and taking a sip from mine. I did what I could to keep it at least slightly neutral as the FWB was clearly getting a bit agitated over it. When the night ended the other girl and I made plans to meet up for a coffee the next evening. I then went and spent the night with my FWB where we basically talked it out and I helped ease her fears and jealousy towards the other girl. I remember giving her a hug and telling her I'm sorry if it bothered her. I don't want to do anything to hurt her. She said it was okay. She knew this kind of thing would happen eventually. She just didn’t expect it to bother her that much. She then says that I'm “all kinds of wonderful” for being so concerned and she's sorry about the evening. We spend the rest of the night at my place.

That next evening (last night), the girl and I end up meeting for coffee at this one cafe I really like. We start talking about school, the club and just a bunch of stuff we each enjoy. The conversation gets a little more exciting as we talk about public speaking skills and language. She’s an exchange student. Eventually, I shift the conversation to dating and relationships. She’s a bit of a party girl so I joke about guys chasing her when she goes out. She denies it. We eventually start talking about how relationships are different for different people and the best way to date is to just hang out and see what happens.(A favourite speech of mine). I ask her what she's looking for now. She says she doesn't want hookups but she isn't looking for a relationship and just wants something in-between. I say “ So, friends with benefits”. And she says yes and its so hard to find guys that are open to that kind of arrangement. I tell her that's exactly what I'm looking for right now. The conversation goes silent. She ends up tying her hair back and then letting it down again. She starts up the conversation again and starts making plans with me to go out and do a bunch of stuff as friends. She mentions that she has gotten very used to going out alone since moving here and would like to go do some things in the city. We talk for another half hour before the café owner kicks us out so they can close up. I just naturally start walking towards my apartment and she just starts to follow me. We reach an intersection and things have gotten quiet. She mentions that she doesn’t know where her bus stop is. I point it out and then I look at her and I say, “So…. So..... Just friends and that's it?” She nods and says “Yeah. I don't want to ruin this.” I immediately respond with “how would it ruin anything?” in the most matter of fact tone you can imagine. She starts to fidget and mumble some nonsense like she doesn't know how to respond. I smile and say that's alright. I made an offer and you made a decision. It is what it is. I point her towards her bus stop and give her a hug. She responds with a “Yeah….. And then points at me and says you're not going to disappear on me are you?” I said “Why would I do that?” and we parted ways, I rounded the corner and walked the half block to my apartment while thinking about how I just screwed that up……

So… Any suggestions or advice? I probably won’t see the second girl until after new years although she did want to hang out again before that.