Hey guys,

I've always been pretty self-aware, and try not to protect myself psychologically with self-limiting beliefs. I'm a realist, and try my best to identify irrational and flawed beliefs and behaviors in myself, and correct them. Over the past few months, I've made some incredible strides in improving myself, and in turn, my interactions with women.

I fear, however, that I have internalized some things in a literal way that aren't necessarily meant to be absolute. Specifically, the value I place on myself, my character, and the people directly around me in my life. I've reached a point where I've mentally convinced myself (be it cognitive dissonance or reality), that I am the absolute master of my own fate, and do not need anyone else's validation to be satisfied with myself. I say exactly what I want, whenever I want, and do not lie. I am honest and straightforward.

This appeared to be working pretty well for me when I initially started putting myself out there and dating, but the two times I've been about to seal the deal, I've been stopped when I was about to have sex and never saw the woman again. This was fine for me.

I feel like this mindset might be causing me to "next" girls too quickly. I put all of my cards on the table in the most open and frank way possible, and then they either start fading (which gets an automatic, hard next, because nobody has the right to devalue my time in such a way), or withdraw contact completely (which obviously also results in a hard next).

I've internalized this "abundance mentality" to a certain extent, even though it hasn't manifested itself into sexual encounters. I am very distant in my texting after getting numbers, and usually don't attempt to continue contact until the day of or day before the date (which has been arranged and agreed to), and start pursuing other women. My flake rate is near 100%.

Ultimately, my question is this, Seddit:

Is it possible to be too independent, too confident, too aloof? Or is this cognitive dissonance? Is this a limiting belief that I possess that must be eliminated for me to progress further?