Hello all, new redpiller here looking forward to the lifelong journey of improving myself as a man. I'm requesting advice regarding my LTR which was started my senior year of college, before I was aware of TRP but at a time I don't consider myself to have had completely bluepill views. I'll try and keep this concise.

We met at a campus bar and there was immediate mutual attraction. Started dating a few months later, sex was great, boundaries established, rarely argued, still gave each other space when needed. Was the first girl in a while who gave me no reason not to trust her. Continued dating after graduation, lived an hour away but saw each other often enough, sex still great, trust still there. Fast forward to the last few months.

She moved in with me this past winter, lease is solely in my name but she pays half of everything and contributes to the house. I make more money than her as an engineer, she works full time as an admin aide although her degree makes her overqualified for that job. Lately I fell into a relatively mild but still problematic addiction to painkillers. Our sex life has been near nonexistent since and it's completely my fault; the pills make me not give a damn about having sex. She still wants it but I have simply failed to provide. I drunkenly confessed to her one night that I still find her attractive, which is absolutely true, but I simply have no more sex drive because of the pills. I apologized and said I would fix it and she accepted it.

Addiction is a bitch and I continued to use for another month or so until I found TRP. I am now only about a week clean and I'm committed to staying off pills and improving my life. During my dark time she's expressed frustration with my emotionless pill-induced pathetic state, and more recently my withdrawal induced irritability, but has remained encouraging. She has still been there with me every night, never going out for the infamous "girls nights" till the wee hours, returning from dinner with her friends (whom I trust, they aren't club sluts) early in the evening and hanging out with my friends and I. She doesn't argue when I want to hang out with the guys and is always there waiting when I get back.

I guess my point is that I want to try and rekindle the relationship being clean and with my new, still emerging redpill outlook, but I wonder if it is too late. Has my stint of weakness killed the attraction? I tend to think not because she is still there and still paying her share of everything even though she could easily move back home for free, but is that just deluded thinking? Has she accepted my lack of sexual output and gone to satisfy her needs somewhere else? If so I would drop her in a second, although I would accept all blame for her unfaithfulness. I just refuse to stay with an unfaithful woman, even though I wouldn't blame her for looking elsewhere at this point. I would simply start again and talk to new women.

Is my thinking out of line? Making any sense? Still being a bluepiller bitch? Your thoughts are appreciated.