I'm in my last year in a Comp Sci program and while I'm an excellent student when motivated, I just can't stomach certain realities of the program anymore.

Every class is like being in autism central. Everyone's introverted, at least slightly awkward, and the concentration of neckbeards, videogame addicts, and people who don't care at all about their hygiene or posture is just staggering. The male to female ratio is 9:1 and the actual women there are masculine and horrible looking. The teachers are even more awkward than the students, and many have trouble communicating in English properly.

As for the course material itself, the further I advance in my education, the more abstract the material becomes, to the point where I'm so used to being overwhelmed by the sheer complexity of computation systems that it's made me jaded. What's being taught is so impractical and far removed from daily living concerns that it's impossible not to lose interest. In fact, the lectures are so boring that I can feel the energy in my body being sucked away until I'm reduced to a zombie-like state, constantly tuning in and out from what's being said.

I chose an STEM career because it was safe and seemed like the most logical choice for putting my intellect to good use. But now that a lot of Red Pill realities are beginning to sink in, I think I've made an enormous mistake. For instance, since I've begun lifting, I've never felt so restless in class, because I have an urge to be more active, to go shoot some hoops or ride my bike instead of listening to a robotic teacher drone on about microkernels. I try my best to network and make friends in these classes, but a lot of these dudes are just lost causes. One of the guys I get along with even revealed to me that he's never kissed a girl despite being the same age as me (mid-20s)! This is seriously an environment where everyone in class laughs hysterically at a Lord of the Rings joke.

Now you could argue to just suck it up and this is a reality of pursuing a lucrative, white collar career. On the other hand, look at all the trade-offs compared to pursuing a more social career:

  • Can't meet quality women through the program
  • No getting invited to frat parties
  • Constantly dealing with machines instead of people
  • Complete lack of exercise
  • Constantly surrounded by extremely lazy, unmotivated people who happen to be smart

What really gets to me now is the fear that this will persist into my work life. The concept of being a 9-5 cubicle drone terrifies me to my very core, and having to spend 40 hours a week with programming nerds who don't shave... How is that supposed to help your personal development in any way? It doesn't build your social skills, your confidence, your SMV, in fact it undermines all of that by acclimating yourself to a blue pill environment, which makes it all the more difficult to shed such behaviors in yourself.

I'm genuinely afraid of leaving this career path because of the investment I've already put into it (ie 3+ years of education) and part of me thinks virtually all white collar careers are blue pill by nature. It's not like being an accountant or a financial modeler is that much less technical than writing code for a living.

So what do I do to cope with the blue pill nature of being a programmer? Should I even stick with this career path or actively pursue a more Red Pill profession? I can't help but shake this sense that people are drawn to programming as a coping mechanism to avoid people and social rejection. I want to think of myself as a Red Pill programmer, even a bodybuilding programmer some day if my fitness goals ever lead me down that path, but for now I can't help but see "alpha male programmer" as a huge oxymoron.