So I have recently got out of a 3yr relationship, and this was my first time out with a girl one-on-one that I was interested in since 2013..wow. Anyway, met her via bumble. She lived about an hour away but was willing to come more towards me, which was good because I preferred to be in "my territory" where I was familiar with options, etc.

I decided to meet up at a wine bar since she said she was really into wine. They also do wine cocktails. The town where the date was in was a town with alot of little bars and options so I got there early and hit up a brewery and chatted with a couple people to try to loosen up. I went down to the wine bar and snagged a comfy outdoor couch. Perftect, I thought...this won't be across from each other interview style.

She arrives and is lost and I tease her and say "Do I need to come rescue you" and she says "maybe". Meanwhile, this little 3 or 4yr old girl comes and sits down next to me for no reason and starts saying little kid stuff so im talking with her/playing with her while the mom is like "come on stop bothering him". Anyway, when the date arrives (slightly late but nothing of note), I say "You're lucky, you were almost replaced! (By the little girl)" We hug.

So she sits down we get to talking, and for some reason the whole side by side couch thing just feels unnatural to me..probably because I've never tried it before reading seddit. We get too much into work-ish stuff, but mostly funny stories, not so much "So what do you do" She tells me about her travels, and family etc.

I noticed that she is not sitting close most of the time, not leaning in, but not leaning away. I try to kino by touching her arm/leg at times (but definitely not as much as I should of) and I definitely did bad at trying to get the convo more playful/sexual. I notice when I touch her, that she doesn't flinch, or move away, or have a change in her demeanor thats like "no don't do that" but at the same time..she doesn't reciprocate.

I decide okay this is gotta change, so i notice that she had a Pandora bracelet with a bunch of charms, so I ask if i can see them. She willingly gives me her hand as we go through the charms, and I try to ask her which ones have the most meaning to her and why.

The server comes out to us and asks if we want another drink, she says sure! (This may have been bad as I might have attempted a venue change at this point).

Basically, she only realizes she wants to leave when they start bringing all the tables inside and we realize that we can't stay even if we want to. I suggest going to a Quizzo game across the street...I figure this would be a great way to have some competition fun and teasing..she (truly does) have a funeral the next day, and an hour drive, and has tobe up early. All of which, she expresses at my offer.. (Shit). (This was 2.5 hrs later)

So next.. I REALLY felt in me the body language shifted greatly. We started walking to her car, and she slowed heavily, and started walking close to me/bumping. We get there, say goodbye she said "Well this was so fun! What acool place etc" She hugs me, wasn't awkward, side arm, but arms full around my waste. We let go, she says more things ( I don't remember what) but then goes for another hug.. to me..almost as if to say "Uhh here's another shot idiot" Could be reading too much into that.

Anyway the post date texts were as follows..(shes generally a short texter but this didn't give me much optimism)

Her: Finally made it home Me: Great! Her: Thank you again! Me: Glad to hear it! Thank you for coming! Her: Absolutely! Me: Well it was not close Her: Lol this is true

Doesn't seem good..

Positives

1) First date I ever went on where I didn't try to do a dinner and sit across from someone 2) First date I ever went on where I even attempted any level of kino 3) Got myself back out there after 3 years

Negatives

1) Kino more, she wasn't being negative, so maybe just needed more 2) Definitely need to work more on my conversation 3) Probably should have attempted a venue change earlier on in the night? 4) Just go for the damn kiss and fail if you need to fail you idiot!!

Update

I texted her today..

"Hey! I enjoyed myself last night. Hang in there today! [in reference to the funeral] Just a few days till your vaca! Next time I'll have to be the one to make the hike when you get back! haha"

She said..

"Hey sorry its been an absolutely exhausting day. But thank you for the thoughts and I had fun last night too! We will have to work something out for when i get back"