Confused about anger being a sign of dominance vs being reactive

Mr_Reardon · 2014-07-31T01:28:23+00:00

Anger in and of itself isn't a bad thing - it's how it's channeled that brings about the negative or positive response. Actions, not emotions.

Example: there's an event that's important to you to attend. You stress she be ready at a specific time. She's not. The out of control response: you scream that she get her ass ready right this second, you kick something over and bitch about how she ruined your evening while you drive erratically to the event. She sees you as an out of control hothead, her actions (or lack thereof) pale by comparison.

The in control response: you state very clearly how angry her lack of concern for this makes you. Upset enough you'd rather not have her accompany you, you expected better and won't sell your evening short. You excuse yourself.

[deleted] · 2014-07-31T03:28:54+00:00

I can't speak to the theory, but I have in the past used anger to drive a point home when it was being ignored. It was a tactic that was effective, but then again I had a lot fewer tools in my toolbox at that time. I would guess that very occasional, justified outbursts of anger could be useful in establishing boundaries that aren't negotiable and extremely important.

It's not a tactic that I use

Nubsly · 2014-07-31T06:13:34+00:00

I think one of the most important things about anger is the way you wield it. Are you in control of it and using it as a tool? Or is it in control of you?

Misteralcala · 2014-08-01T08:05:14+00:00

Women look to men for stability. Overly emotional men - unless they are the 'starving artist' type or have high enough SMV (wealth), will be viewed as weak. Women want a solid man as a counterpoint to their emotions - a rock they can break their emotional waves on. Anger issues are often a red flag indicating instability.

The exceptions to this are women who thrive on drama and adrenaline. These are the Tina Turner type women who yo-yo in and out of relationships with angry men, because "he's a good man, he just needs my love to change him!".

lonGterMgoalS · 2014-07-31T01:24:36+00:00

Allowing my woman to anger me is not a good look. Displaying anger at someone else because I'm protecting her or my family I don't have a problem with.

I don't know what the consensus is but that's my view.

Title	Confused about anger being a sign of dominance vs being reactive
Author	Guitarsoul24
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	July 31, 2014 12:43 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2c71gn/confused_about_anger_being_a_sign_of_dominance_vs/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/confused-about-anger-being-a-sign-of-dominance-vs.141054 https://theredarchive.com/post/141054

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