"How" to lower your standards?

DukeCanada · 2016-08-21T13:58:53+00:00

It's not about standards, you don't have those yet. You're holding them to a fictional cookie-cutter ideal you have of the perfect woman. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you. Put yourself out there and see what these woman are about and what they're like, be vulnerable to disappointment and you might be suprised. Then you can start developing standards based on what you've experienced.

rustoof · 2016-08-21T13:27:31+00:00

Thats cool dude. I play football. But i hate practicing. So i dont go to practice just garnes. Don't win a lot though

supremearchaeologist · 2016-08-21T13:16:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheXXL · 2016-08-22T11:42:25+00:00

in last year I could've hook up with around 6-7 girls that were basically "throwing themselves" on me but I never did, mainly cause I am pussy ~~but also because my standards are set higher.~~

Be honest with yourself. I am sure your problem is that you are scared of letting someone get near you, especially if it's a girl. That is why you construct that idea from having standards, what ever you mean by that.

As I never kissed a girl before I wanned my first kiss to be at least with a decently looking/attractive girl and not with some random chick that would serve me as a practice for pickup.

You are looking for a hollywood fantasy.

With this in mind, it has been stopping me from hooking up with anyone because I am kinda looking for the "right one" (only based on looks).

Becaue of what? Let me guess: You are scared that your friends could hear about it and then say you have kissed an "ugly" girl.

Now, when it comes to approach ~~and pickup~~, I am pretty talkative guy and I usually get along with chicks pretty easily.

Again, be honest to yourself. What you describe is not pickup. Pickup means to pick up a girl to have sex with her, which you obviously not do, so don't try to pose as something you aren't.

I open a girl without a problem when I am drunk (cause it puts me instantly in social state), but when I am sober I can't do it that easy.

Actually, it lowers your inhibitions, it's not without reason called "liquid courage". So basically like i said earlier, stop lying to yourself. Alcohol doesn't put you into "a social state" it just makes you forget your fear.

So, without further ado, how to lower my standards and is it right thing to do?

So... Let me tell you something. You have no reason to hide that you are scared. So many of us are scared of approaching, closing, KINO, kissing the girl for the first time, scared of rejection and so on, this is why most of us are here. I also know how i was at your age, i was basically the same way, tried to tell myself i had standards, always looking for something better without even trying what was offered to me to see if i like it. I did this all just to mask my fear of intimacy, fear of being made fun of, fear of rejection. It took a while to realize that, and even more time to get over it.

But you know what? nowadays i don't care what others might think of my choice of partners, i am absolutely not impressed by looks anymore. Sure i react to a beautiful girl, but i don't automatically think she must be the shit. I learned that there are many things that turn me off in those barbie doll girls. I always test for key qualities like wit, intelligence, high confidence and other personal traits i cannot do without, and this my friend is called having standards.

So my advice is the following: Accept that you are scared, and work on that. Look beyond the beauty facade of a girl, it's so common nowadays, nothing anyone can be proud of. If she has a nice and to you compatible personality then this is something to be proud of, and this is quality. How do you find out about this? Talk to her, connect with her, and then decide if you want to try it with her.

Slinkie23 · 2016-08-23T01:59:31+00:00

kiss the average girls dude, baby steps...

snowy513 · 2016-08-21T13:04:30+00:00

Don't do it. I'm in a similar position where I have ridiculously high standards. By no means are girls throwing themselves at me, but I've had the chance to hook up with quite a few average looking girls. For me, it payed off, and I ended up getting and then dating a girl who was well above my standards, and maybe even my level.

The one thing I would suggest, it to make sure your standards can be met. Then, the next time you are out in public, just pay attention and count the number of girls you see who would meet those standards. You should realise that there are a lot of them, and it all depends on where you go and where you look

Title	"How" to lower your standards?
Author	supremearchaeologist
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	August 21, 2016 12:35 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4yune9/how_to_lower_your_standards/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-lower-your-standards.1411230 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411230

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