still not sure about 'showing interest'

Dantilli · 2016-09-05T14:29:27+00:00

I'm not sure what 'role' I should play. What character

There's your problem, you're trying to play a character. Playing a character is all good and well at first, putting on an acting hat temporarily to put on a short performance can be fun. But you cannot convey genuine deep emotion while pretending to be someone else, simple as that.

Imagine having a normal conversation with a friend. Then you say something and your friend does some kind of impersonation or silly voice as a joke to make you both laugh. Then he goes back to normal conversation. When he goes to do that impersonation you can almost see him putting on his performance hat and then taking it off again afterwards to laugh and start being "real" again.

It is this that you're aiming for. The "role" that you're playing is yourself, with your own goals and ambitions and desires. But you put on different hats to express different things as you feel it is necessary. You feel a little cheeky? put on your lovable rogue hat and try sweeping someone off their feet with on over the top comment. Got a few jokes bubbling up at the back of your mind? put on your stand up comedian hat and let a few rip. Just remember to take the hat off in between performances and show them that you're also a real person.

You should be looking at spending at least 50% of the time without a hat on, often more depending on what kind of person you are.

infinite amount of variables, so yuo never know what actually helped you or what actually ruined it for you/.

Not so true as though the variables are infinite, social conditioning and human biology is not. People naturally react in certain ways if they like something and they react in others if they dislike it. These signs are very similar in every person and are fairly simple to read once you get the hang of it.

I'd imagine that a lot of your problem is you're focussing so much on playing the "correct" role that you're not really feeling the person in front of you. Everything in your post is what you're doing wrong and what "framework" you can use. Girls literally tell you through their body language and often even literal words what works and what doesn't. All you have to do is actually try things and see what kind of feedback you're getting.

Don't worry about the feedback in the moment so much, analyse it afterwards (when you get home) and improve next time. Otherwise you'll waste all your time in the interaction working out this one sign she has given you when you should be trying things while you have the chance.

Hope this helps somewhat :)

TheXXL · 2016-09-05T15:49:07+00:00

I also felt like I could sense that she was now aware that she had all of the 'power'.

Does she have the Power, just because you tell her you're interested? No. She has the power if you need her, if you show that you will not walk away whatever she does to you. If you tell a girl she is attractive it is not a big deal, as long as your behavior screams that you are used to attractive women and therefore you are able to next her if she doesn't live up to your standards.

If i remember correctly it was Mystery that said to tell the girl: "you are beautiful, but beauty is common, what else have you got?". This was aiming to show that you are not impressed by mere superficialities, that you are used to beautiful women so she has to work to get your approval.

Keep in mind though, if the girl wants you, it doesn't matter much if she has "the power" as long as you know when to walk away.

Title	still not sure about 'showing interest'
Author	famineofcrows
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	September 5, 2016 9:57 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/518qau/still_not_sure_about_showing_interest/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/still-not-sure-about-showing-interest.1411962 https://theredarchive.com/post/1411962

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