How does a virgin foreigner get laid?

spinsilo · 2016-10-17T22:59:54+00:00

Your problem seems to be largely that you're putting up barriers in your own head. I don't mean to trivialise the obvious issues you're dealing with, but I don't think that seddit is necessarily where you need to start.

Seems to me that you lack confidence and feel that you don't belong. You need to start opening yourself up to the world, because no matter how much you learn seduction, its not going to resolve your deeper psychological issues and limiting beliefs.

You need to learn to become comfortable with yourself and to become a person that you respect and are confident in sharing with others. I think you should probably get some counseling or cognitive behavioural therapy first, and then you need to get out of your head.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to have deep conversations and connections with people, this will actually be very useful in seduction because girls appreciate this and a lot of guys are no good at it. But you've got to own it. Stop being ashamed of yourself. Stop thinking of yourself as the virgin foreigner and start owning your identity as the confident, intellectual, cultured international guy that you want to be. If you don't believe it, girls never will.

IWriteForGroupies · 2016-10-17T19:07:19+00:00

I'm studying in a foreign country.

Which country? What country are you?

but I wanna try for the first time ever to date someone.

Welcome to seddit, your journey begins here.

I tried cold approaching a girl on the street, but on the final second I scared myself.

You need to do this again a few hundred more times until there is no fear.

I was abused not only in school, but also in my home by my stepfather. I'm not searching for pity

Okay, I will pretend you never typed this.

I'm on some Zoloft, that doesn't quite help me.

I'm no doctor, psychologist, therapist or psychiatrist. If you have mental health issues or physical issues, please seek help.

I have pain in the chest especially when I'm lonely at my apartment that I rent.

I don't know if the pain is mental or physical. You have an apartment, so you are doing better than most guys.

but something deeper

Seduction can lead to connecting with women on deep levels or sexual levels.

Most people just discuss random shit srlsy and consider me a shut in because of that.

I think you have some issues with people. It may be related to your past. Please do not judge everyone. You have to take time to get to know people. You will be surprised what you learn.

Is there a way out?

There is always a way out. Read the sidebar. Learn seduction. If you have time, learn how people think.

Consider my situation please and don't suggest anything, if u can't put urself in my shoes.

I will never be you. We can be different heights and different skin colors. We can be different ages. I can tell you there is a guy out there that has it harder than you and they are succeeding with women.

recyclablebanthas · 2016-10-18T01:15:38+00:00

Now I'm in college, I know no one, I have little difficulties with speaking, but I wanna try for the first time ever to date someone.

What country are you in? People here could have some really good area specific things to suggest.

You do realize how needlessly more difficult you're making this? You don't know anyone and are rusty speaking to people and you're trying to make your first step....dating someone?! Are you trying to punish yourself?

Low hanging fruit is there for a reason. Be social with people first. Baby steps, man. Forget about dating someone right now. Talk to people first.

I'd recommend joining some social groups.

Couchsurfer meets. They have Facebook pages and events almost anywhere in the world. And no, it doesn't matter if you have a couch. The point is that people who like to meet other travellers and locals, get together every week or so.
Hash runners. They also have FB groups. Usually under hash house harriers and the name of the city. It's just fine if you only walk!
Partner social dancing. Lindy hop, West coast swing, Argentine tango, salsa.... Can't dance? Great! No one can at first. And occupying your mind with an activity is sometimes a great way to take your mind off of anxiety.

I have pain in the chest especially when I'm lonely at my apartment that I rent.

So go outside. ;) Really. This is a major component in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you want a different feeling from sitting in your room, get. out. of. the room. Move around.

Do something.

I just kind of even want to talk to someone, but not on topics about football and doing shit, but something deeper, like how to find happiness....

You're impatient. You want to get right to connecting. It's understandable. But there's a process to this. People don't KNOW you. Why would they want to immediately start telling you personal things? Why should you be telling them such thing right off the bat?

It would be like some guy asking you for a bunch of money to buy something from him, before you've really talked.

The small talk, serves a purpose. And it's not like you need to spend all your time there. Not at all. All you have to do is lead in the direction you want with a more personal bit of small talk like asking how someone's day was or whatever.

Once they've started on that bit, you just dig deeper into what makes them tick. Those bigger questions you're interested in.

TraneBoy · 2016-10-18T09:54:47+00:00

Seems like I can wait an eternity for help...

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-10-18T14:27:00+00:00

I just kind of even want to talk to someone, but not on topics about football and doing shit, but something deeper, like how to find happiness, what does that certain person value in his life.

Getting something deeper isn't about the topic you choose to talk about but how you connect while talking. Any banter is a chance to get excited and touch her, give her a shit eaters grin, etc. Keep in mind there is very little substance in life anyways. you might not care about the ways others choose to waste their time but you also waste your time with specific things that you could admit most people wouldn't care about either. It's not deep that your waste time activities aren't sports, what would be deep is if you recognize they're just waste time activities.

People don't just vapidly waste their time hashing out stupid bullshit conversation topics. Keeping up a conversation is hard even if you're willing to use bullshit conversation topics. The reason they hash out bullshit is because they are using it as vessel to make each other feel while talking. That or to buy time until they can crack a joke about anything etc.

What happened in anyone's childhood can be used as an excuse for starting off at a bad place when they leave home however it can't be used as an excuse for anything afterwards. That is because afterwards they are in full control to fix their situation where as when they were a kid they weren't.

The only solution is to hold yourself to the standards of anything else and begin trying and learning through the same process. If you find any excuses what so ever bogging you down WHILE!!! you are trying then you'll find dropping them help out a lot.

Imo street approaching is near impossible even for literal pick up professionals. However it's a great place to practice because they make it the most difficult. In college I recommend running around and trying to get invited to parties, or meeting girls after they get out of classes or in your class, while waiting in cafeteria lines etc.

Title	How does a virgin foreigner get laid?
Author	TraneBoy
Upvotes	1
Comments	14
Date	October 17, 2016 6:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/57yx4t/how_does_a_virgin_foreigner_get_laid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-a-virgin-foreigner-get-laid.1414142 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414142

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