First date: you go for a hug as a greeting, but the girl is still shy and rejects it. How do you recover?

IronManSeduction · 2016-10-28T08:09:43+00:00

Hey Hungarian throwaway,

There are 3 ways a woman can react to your physical touch:

Positively
Neutrally
Negatively

Positively

She returns physical contact back to you. This is good and it means you can escalate further with confidence.

Neutrally

She does nothing. She neither returns physical touch, nor pulls away. This is still good because it means she is comfortable with your touch. You can escalate.

Negatively

She pulls away or rejects your advance. This does not mean "abort mission!". This means she is not yet comfortable with this level of touch. Take a step back, and try again a bit later.

In summary, there is no "recover". You have not failed. Most times, you will continue to escalate until you reach the point beyond her comfort zone, in which she will respond negatively. All that is required is for you to respect that, step back, and try again after a little while.

WayOfTheGentleman · 2016-10-28T07:51:46+00:00

Your entire mindset is fucked. You're going into the date thinking 'how can I impress this girl', and when you do something she doesn't respond well to, you're want to know how to 'recover'.

Is there no part of you that thought 'this girl is a bit cold and uptight, I don't like this'?

Why is it that women lose interest in men very easily, seemingly for the tiniest things...yet men are always interested regardless?

But since you asked, instead of acting like I did something wrong, and apologising or backtracking, I'd find it cute. Like she's too shy to hug me at this stage. 'Too shy to hug? Wow, you must be really nervous? Don't worry, it'll be fine, I promise.'

(I'm saying the above in a testing/sarcastic way)

leprogrammist · 2016-10-28T09:39:52+00:00

You keep talking and try again later. If she complies with no touch at all for the whole date you ditch her. for every woman that takes weeks and months to warm up there is a girl who will give you everything right there and then. you wouldn't return to a restaurant if they bring cold food after 5 hours of waiting...

smerk321 · 2016-10-29T02:08:41+00:00

I had a brand new doctor hug me and it was weird. Turns out he is a huge hugger and hugs everyone before and after appointments. He didn't let my weirdness about it rattle him. It's only weird if you make it weird.

I_love_red_velvet · 2016-10-29T06:09:11+00:00

Just say "oh no problem" and continue conversation. It is really not a big deal, some people are not huggers.

Title	First date: you go for a hug as a greeting, but the girl is still shy and rejects it. How do you recover?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	5
Date	October 28, 2016 7:47 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/59t9yn/first_date_you_go_for_a_hug_as_a_greeting_but_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-date-you-go-for-a-hug-as-a-greeting-but-the.1414670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414670

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