Figuring Out My Innergame

Vizard47 · 2017-01-19T21:25:45+00:00

Maybe you're a perfectionist,if so you can't be confident unless you get rid of it

Azelas · 2017-01-19T22:07:27+00:00

But how is your social part of life? How is your social circles? You have to practice talking to people to build up confidence.

That said, maybe you should look for girls that share your interests, girls that like chess, squash or singing.

You need to talk more about your social life for us to know what is wrong.

revente · 2017-01-20T00:15:04+00:00

Well a great social life will gonna open more doors than any of these hobbies so cut them a little and practice more. The best way is to start approaching girls and other people on a daily basis. And leading an more event oriented life- go to galleries, concerts of indie bands, theatres, clubs. Try to bring others with you. Or just host your own events- party, painball with friends or people from your group, a hike, kayaking etc.

Other things to improve are voice and body language. Speak slower and lower and dont be afraid to take your time when formulating your answers during conversation. Keep steady eye contact at all times. Have an open posture, don't move much or fidget. Don't be afraid to touch people you like even if you just have met them.

TheAllKnowingPerson · 2017-01-20T01:24:47+00:00

Be more laid back and willing to do things you don't like. Also it depends what the girl is into. Pick up a hobby that girls you like also do, don't know? Just ask them what they like to do then try it.

djdante · 2017-01-20T01:28:44+00:00

Okay dude the first important thing you have to consider is that 'life success' does not equal confidence.. Confidence can lead to life success and it certainly usually does, and so people assume when they see someone successful who is confident that the money/fame/success made them confident.

Achieving things HELPS you feel confident in a superficial way... I'm supremely confident in my ability to build websites, create marketing strategies, approaching women, using tinder... BUT im pretty unconfident if you put me in a kitchen, or into a Yoga class.

But none of that is REAL confidence, which you could well be lacking.

Real confidence is when you stick me in a kitchen (I have no idea how to cook), and I don't shy away, I have belief that I can figure it out somehow, and I may look awkward and people will laugh at me if they watch me (and many a woman has) but it's okay because I'm learning something new.

So sure you may be superficially confident academically... But what lies beneath that is a guy who perhaps isnt'confident at all in himself, so throw you somewhere that you aren't well practiced, like a social party, or an awkward conversation and your true confidence levels come out.

In all honesty, I wouldn't look to Seddit for confidence. I wouldn't look to any seduction resource for confidence.

There are lots of paths to self-esteem. Here are two that I'm a huge fan of:

1 - Start regularly doing things that are out of your comfort zone. Become comfortable being crap and foolish and failing. It's the discomfort and worrying about screwing up that gets in a lot of our ways. Sure, that could be approaching women, but for many guys that can prove more traumatic than theraputic. So start with things that are closer to your comfort zone but still will make you uncomfortable.

2 - Start making decisions that demonstrate to yourself that you have a lot of value... Put a higher price on your time, say no to more friends if you don't want to see them or are tired or would rather watch TV. Eliminate people from your life who don't add to it in any meaningful way. And never say something that isn't true - lying and deception is a very insidious way men and women degrade their self-confidence through constant verbal re-enforcing that they aren't good enough how they are.

Title	Figuring Out My Innergame
Author	armadadb
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	January 19, 2017 9:00 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5ozb10/figuring_out_my_innergame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/figuring-out-my-innergame.1418866 https://theredarchive.com/post/1418866

Comments