Here are a few of mine. Please post your own.

One night I went home with a girl and when we got to the door of her apartment building, she says "we can't go in. My boyfriend is home." No mention of the BF before this. It's 3 AM. I say "ok well when can I fuck you in the lobby of the building." She says no. I have to catch the train home by myself at 3 AM.

One night I go home with a girl (let's call her Jerkface) and I leave my jacket in her room with my keys, wallet and phone in it. I go downstairs to get something and when I get back her door is locked and she appears to be passed out. I bang on the door to no avail. I now no longer even want to fuck, I just want my shit to get home. She has a roommate, but the roomie isn't there. I'm drunk. I have 3 options: 1) sleep in her living room, hoping that the roomie doesn't come home and call the cops on some random guy in her apartment (or worse, shoot me), 2) Leave her apartment without my jacket, wallet, keys, phone, or way to get home at 4 AM, or 3) try to break her lock. I'm drunk, so I choose #3. I scour her entire apartment for a screwdriver and I disassemble her lock. I know that sounds creepy, but I figured it would be creepier for me to sleep in her apartment all night. I disassemble the doorknob and stuff but I can't do anything about the actual locking mechanism. Now there is a hole in her door with just a lock in there so I yell at her through the hole. No response. I go in the roommate's room and scour through all of her stuff. I find her roommate's IPhone, but it's locked. I remember that you can make emergency calls on a locked phone, so I decide to call 911 and tell the cops I think she died (which BTW, might have been true). I figured the cops would come, break the door open, and I would grab my jacket and leave. As I'm on the phone with 911 I think she hears me, wakes up and starts yelling at me, calling me a creep for breaking her lock, etc... I grab my jacket and run out of the house. I call an Uber and go home.

Later, Jerkface's friend calls me and asks me why I was being creepy. I explain the situation to Jerkface's friend. Jerkface's friend agrees I did the right thing. BTW, both Jerkface and her friend are nuts.

One night I'm walking home from the bars and I see Jerkface's friend with a guy. I decide to say hi to her despite what happened between me and Jerkface. Jerkface's friend says to the guy "you know what, I think I'm going with Woujo." The guy doesn't understand and grabs her arm and Jerkface's friend goes ballistic, yelling "don't touch the rabbit fur coat!!" Jerkface's friend comes with me. I know she's crazy, so I'm not excited to have her, I just want to see what crazy shit she does. The friend says "let's go to your place." Knowing how nuts she is, I say no, let's go to another bar. The other bar is only 4 blocks away but the friend is in heels so she starts complaining. Finally, she says "let's grab a ride to the bar" and literally just gets into some guy's car. She says to me "get in" but I'm like "no, that's not Uber, that's just some guy." The girl in the guy's passenger seat yells at me "are you with her" and I'm like "no." Everybody in the car is confused and finally the guy takes the lead and yells at me and says "get her the fuck out of my car." I say "Nope, not my responsibility. You need to call the cops to get her out" The car drives away, with her in it, never to be seen again.

I'm dancing with a hot Mexican girl all night and near the end she says "my brother is here, want to meet him?" My heart drops, I'm hoping her brother is not some crazy meathead that wants to beat me up. I say "sure" and turns out her brother is flamboyantly gay and really happy to see me. As we're talking, he starts casually touching my dick. Normally, I'd flip out, but I didn't want to make the girl mad so I would just gently move his hand away whenever he did it. At the end of the night the brother goes "hey want to come party with us after?" I wanted to party with the girl, but I felt like the brother liked me more than her. I turn to the girl and say "should I come with you guys." She just shrugs and says sure with way less enthusiasm than the brother. That's when I figured that the brother was probably more into me than her. I bailed. I see the brother a few weeks later at a bar with a really hot girl and he walks up to me and says "why did you never call my sister" and then touches my dick again.

I go to a strip club and get a hot stripper's number but I never call her because I just assumed we didn't form a connection. One night like 3 months later I'm drunk drunk and I randomly text her at 3 AM and she just responds "stripper party at [address]. Bring coke." I can't believe this is real, but I go anyway. Turns out, it actually is a stripper party. I don't even know if she remembers who I am but the girl says she wants to have a 3 some with me and another stripper. The other stripper isn't into it so she pretends to fall asleep on the couch. We do it though.

One night I'm making out with a really hot girl at a club. Let's call her X. X had a hot friend with her (let's call her Y) so I tried to find a guy for Y. I introduce Y to some random guys at the club, and each time after talking to Y for about an hour the guy comes up to me and says "hey man, sorry I can't handle that" and leaves. I have no idea what Y is doing to scare these guys off. Finally, the club closes and I invite X back. Y has no guy, so I point to some random guy outside the club and say "hey want to come with us?" That's super sketchy, but I really wanted to get with X and I didn't want Y being alone to fuck it up. So I invited this guy back to my place. I go in my bedroom with X and start making out. Y is in the living room with the guy. After about 20 minutes the guy is banging on my door. I open the door and he says "sorry but I can't handle her" and leaves. Now Y is mad and she grabs X's purse and goes outside on my balcony and starts dangling it over the ledge threatening to throw it off. X starts crying begging for the purse back. I tell Y to knock it off but Y keeps doing it. I forget what happened, but at some point Y left my apartment and ran into the street and X went chasing after her. After they left, I locked my door and fell asleep. I later called X to hang out again and found out she was trans.

One night I'm leaving the club as it closes and I see 4 girls standing outside the club and they ask me "where are you going?" I say "home." They say "can we come." My mind is blown. 4 girls?? I say yes. We go home and 3 of them just go in my living room and start talking amongst themselves while the other one starts cleaning my apartment. I say the one "stop, you don't need to do this" and she says "I just want to show you how good of a girlfriend I can be." I invite her to my room and I fuck her while the rest are in my living room.

I have a lot more, I just have to remember them.

What stories do you have?

Obligatory website plug: http://www.woujo.com

I'll post more when I think of some.