I (36M) have been divorced from her (38F) for almost 5 years now, we were married for 8 years and together for 12 years total, we share equal custody of our children (10,6) and everything is pretty high conflict due to her infidelity/general treatment of me and my family over the past number of years including while married. I have worked 12 hour shifts for the entirety of our relationship, and our custody schedule is based off of my work schedule. It is not a 7/7 schedule but rather a set of 3, 4 and 7 days which our kids hate because of the frequent switches and inability to get into a routine in 3 and 4 days. I have been trying to get off night shifts due to not being able to sleep more than 3-4 hours which has affected my mental health when combined with dealing with a high conflict ex. I was recently given an opportunity to move into a day shift job at my company working more shorter days and being on call for 1 week a month. This gives me more time to be involved with my kids activities as I only was able to do that on days off before. I let her know about this change and said we would need to change the kids schedule to 7/7 as I figure that is what is best for everyone especially the kids. I was instantly met with "I will never change to that because the kids cant go 2 full weeks without seeing me" I am a fully capable parent and can handle everything as well as she can aside from maybe braiding hair haha. Now to the issue, I am on my own and have limited help with my kids, she has her mom available 24/7, I also suggested keeping the current schedule even though it gives me less days away from work with my kids, but shifting it back a week so I am able to be on call, she even suggested this but has now changed her mind and said it isn’t her job to support me in my job (I’ve never asked her to support me) for context my schedule has changed 2x a year for 12 years as we shuffle crews and it has never been a problem. Am I in the wrong here for doing something that has been done 10 times since we split, trying to make a better life for myself and in turn be there more for my kids? She has refused to use a mediator after meeting with her and me paying a deposit and won’t respond to alternate mediators, so I am meeting the lawyer this afternoon to see my options.