Hey! I've recently been watching a ton of school of life videos, especially their videos about love and sex. I especially love this one about the fear of being bad in bed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSZky8dk7OE

So, here's my idea: I believe that sex is nothing separate, rather it is an extension of emotional closeness. Sex is fundamentally not pleasurable because of the physical sensations, but because of psychological relief, which is the legitimization and validation of our lonely selves. That same legitimization occurs during those deep emotional conversations, the same in-depth understanding of another person, that connection that alleviates deep seated loneliness. That's why it's so exciting to engage in anal sex or anything society deems "disgusting". Because it is unacceptable, we have to hide it, but with the right partner we get to show even this side of ourselves.

So, why do I care, what's the takeaway? I want to see everything I do with a person as good in and of itself, without agenda. Talking is good, kissing is good, hugging is good, getting turned on is good, all in itself. This view allows you to avoid putting sex on the pedestal as the ultimate goal. It allows you to be real and in the moment, enjoying a connection and letting it flow on it's own!

When you hold these beliefs and at the same time flirt honestly and powerfully and physically, you'll always be true to yourself and have a great time as a result. The other person will trust you and you will trust yourself.

I know my post is not super coherent and a bit rambly but I'm just trying to work out my thoughts. I've been into spirituality a lot recently, motivated also by RSDMax and others. I feel like a spiritual path of self-exploration, honesty, courage, love and giving is the highest form of seduction and I want to attain it!

Thoughtful comments are deeply appreciated :) Thank you!