Advice for having other guys interrupting a set and completely taking control

Twobithatter · 2017-09-06T23:23:15+00:00

Keep control of the conversation while engaging with him too. In order to stay on top tho you'll have to lower the guys value. Show that your in charge of that set. EDIT: don't stop talking either thinking about ive taken sets just by talking more than the other guys.

recyclablebanthas · 2017-09-11T13:17:39+00:00

A little late to the party, but....

__1___

I also feel like I need to show some dominance instead of allowing someone to come in and take over my frame.

I'd say that you should invest an hour of your time and watch this video or leave it on in the background while you do chores in the house or something. Nick Sparks covers the most common mistakes guys usually make in this sort of situation.

They usually try to outdo the other guy.
They pull away/retreat.

Instead, he advocates basically offering the guy what he wants: validation. He wants to be the center of the conversation? Let him. He can be the dancing clown looking for validation, while you direct the conversation and have the real control.

__2___

In another instance, I was dancing with a girl, making eye contact and having a great time when some guy said excuse me like he was trying to make his way across the dance floor, but then he just stopped directly in front of me and started dancing with the girl.

Wow. That is incredibly asinine. A couple points on this:

Check yourself honestly. If you are putting off a confident vibe, then guys won't be pulling shit like this. If you were bullied when you were younger, then you may have adopted a number of behaviors you don't think about that tell guys you are someone they can treat like that.
Further, be honest with yourself: were you really getting in there or were you holding back at a "friendly" distance? If you are really taking the mindset that you are in there and making progress with a girl, then there's no room for him to come between you and it would be as obnoxious as if he had asked to part you from someone you were hugging, so he could walk between you guys. It just won't happen. You are likely putting off a vibe that says, "Please come break it up and push me out of the set."
Sidebar: even though you have plenty to do on your end, also consider that this sort of behavior is not something you would have to put up with at other venues. You're going to see more of this sort of pushy, desperate behavior from guys the later it gets into the night. So getting started earlier will give you a better opportunity to get in with a girl before it gets savage later on. So try different venues and realize that staying too late might be part of the problem.

__3___

I'm pretty overweight, so I think more fit guys see me as an easy target when I'm engaged with an attractive girl and think they can just come over and take her attention from me, which is apparently the case.

On the one hand, if you're not happy with your weight, stay on that issue. You ought to take care of your body.

On the other hand, at the end of the day, it's not the weight. I had a friend with weight problems who cleaned up and NO one would be walking up to him and trying to step in like guys do with you. The difference? Mindset. Actual confidence. Escalation. He had all those things. You seem to need work in one or all of these things.

__4___

Anybody else have experience with this? How can I make myself less of an easy target? If someone does target me, how do I dominate the frame without coming across as needy or try-hard?

Here's the thing. These things that the guys are doing, are symptoms that mistakes are being made long before they come over. Trying to react to them AFTER the fact, is missing the point. Even if those guys weren't there, you have been missing some ingredient and the guys coming in to push you out of the set is really just a formality.

2017-09-06T22:06:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

musclesglasses31 · 2017-09-06T23:42:50+00:00

I usually start making fun of the guy and create an inside joke to share with the girl. Ex: dude was taking over the convo I complimented his shirt... Wow that's a nice pink shirt, Pink Shirt. and that was his name for the rest of the night.

Prygon · 2017-09-07T02:19:27+00:00

They must have been pretty hot. Nice job op. The simple way is to lose weight.

Title	Advice for having other guys interrupting a set and completely taking control
Author	lifeson106
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	September 6, 2017 9:38 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6yiq3b/advice_for_having_other_guys_interrupting_a_set/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-having-other-guys-interrupting-a-set.1433261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1433261

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