Making this on a spam account.

I guess to start things off, I am a male, 16, kiss-less, never had a girlfriend. Those last two parts about me has been making me feel like complete shit for the past few years, it's not because I want a girlfriend just to say I have or had one, it's not even for sex, I legitimately just want somebody who I can be real with and to love. I'm the kind of guy who just loves people, I love to be around people and just want to make people happy, it tears me in half when I see people I know sad, because I know what it's like and I don't want anyone to feel that way, or at least have support if they do. But the minuit I try to take my relationships to a point where we can have important conversation, or even a slight but of physical contact without it being weird, everybody seems to back away, leaving me alone.

During my whole life, other than my family who I love to death of course, not a single person has put a hand on me in a caring way, to the point where if someone even brushes against me by accident, I go completely numb and start sweating and getting nervous, nobody has ever bothered to ask how I am without it being attached to a greeting to make them not sound like an ass.

There is a girl who I've known for about 2 years now, she's completely out of my league, she's stunning in every physical and emotional way, is incredibly talented at making art, and overall just a really nice person, in my eyes, an 11/10 compared to me which I'd probably give myself a 4/10 appearance wise, but for whatever reason she chooses to hang around and make conversation with me. This has been going on for about 4 months so we've gotten quite comfortable with each other, she's even convinced me to get an Instagram account so we can send each other stuff. She's also taken interest in one of my hobbies (skateboarding) and occasionally follows along and watches me. She mentioned once, a few weeks ago, that she wanted to get into it and i offered to teach her an I have been since then. But still, when I try to advance our relationship she backs off for about 3-7 days. I suggest for her to come out to town with me every once and a while(i.e, going to fairs, skateboarding, etc) but she's turned me down on it every time saying "maybe", no big deal, I respect and give her space and try again a week or two later. There was one time where we got into a very deep conversation over SC about personal issues and we both spilled very sensitive stuff about each other that day, but it was nice to finally be able to talk about those kinds of things for once to let off stress.

From here it's sounds like things are going ok, but it seemed to all stop today. We were talking about something dumb on Snapchat and out of nowhere she just casually mentions about flirting with another guy likes it's been going on for months. It just completely destroyed me, like the biggest kick to the stomach, or an even better example would be like when Superman brings a foe into space and slams them back down to earth. I've been really hurting from it, my chest is tight and I don't feel like doing anything. It just makes me feel like she's been using me this whole time to make the other guy jealous, which would explain me getting turned down 100% of the time and why she would never flirt with me. At this point I just feel like crawling into a ball and never doing anything again. The one time I open up and trust somebody, they just use it to benefit themself and leave. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, or where to go from here. Any advice, tips, or support is much appreciated. Thanks for your time.