My wife and I have a son who will turn 10 soon, she is a wonderful mother but we disagree on our plans for our son. My wife is half Circassian and that part of her culture is very traditional and heavily rooted in traditional gender roles which has influenced her and her parenting methods. She is extremely strict with him (No emotional or physical abuse but stricter than the military) and while she follows my lead in everything I decide whether she agrees with it or not, she never compromises about our son which means any suggestions I have which don't fit in her "greater plan" for him get immediately shot down.

For example, I want to have a friendly relationship with him (Something I never had with my own father) but she sees my role as only providing financial stability and being a good role model, my MIL explains it by saying that a man shouldn't be friends with his son because he's supposed to be raising a warrior. My wife wants our son to be self-dependent and sufficient, which I'm all for (I want to raise a good man) but she's teaching him to not trust or rely on anyone (Not even us, his own parents). If I want to use TRP jargon, she's teaching him to be a DT and I don't want that, it's a lonely existence, I want my son to be able to come to me when he has problems he can't fix, I want him to know that he can have a support system which he can rely on when he needs to. I work long hours and don't get to be around him as much as I want but the time we spend together doesn't have any of the regular father-son moments. He's very accomplished, intelligent, social and excels in every field he takes part it but I don't think this raising will let him be a happy person in the future.

My wife is a wonderful wife and mother but I have no idea how to get through to her about this. Any help?

*Edited some spelling mistakes.