Given the recent posts,what is your experience on building a good social circle from scratch?

SnapSocialGuru · 2017-10-23T18:55:06+00:00

Two years ago, I moved to SF not knowing anyone.

Today, I have a healthy social life and I always have something to do.

Here are some things I did:

Snapchat closed everyone I met, even if briefly.
Said “yes” to every social situation, no matter how small or lame. (I’d say this is most important)
Lightly invited myself to people’s events. “Oh, sounds fun! If you need a wingman to the party hit me up, bro.”
Created Snapchat stories so I could stay “top of mind” for people I was meeting. (I’d say this is second most important)
Hopped on Tinder and befriend anyone before trying to close them. If things didn’t work out, I still wanted to be friends. Meeting new people was more important than sex at this point.
Branched out by getting introduced to friends of friends. I started off with coworkers then branched out from there.
Drastically lowered my “standard” for new friendships. If you’re funny = you’re now my friend. That easy.
Said “yes” to EVERY social situation. Yes, I’m repeating this one because it’s that important.
Took up a social hobby. No new friends from this but it was nice to meet new people with shared interest. I did Toastmasters, improv, and wine tasting classes.
Seriously seriously seriously leveraged social media to make it easy for old friends to stay in touch with me. I found that if people forget about you = your social life is done. I managed to rekindle old friendships and stay in touch with new people. Got invited to awesome weekend parties in Lake Tahoe this way.

Tl:dr: leverage social media, say yes to everything, and make friends out of anyone (old tinder hookups, coworkers, nerdy engineer at work).

Hope this helps!

FYI: I recently started a blog that talks more about this kind of stuff: Socialite Magazine.

thekmitch · 2017-10-23T19:48:58+00:00

I moved to a new city a year and a half ago, across the country from my friends and family. Didn't know anyone when I moved there and struggled to find my crowd for a bit. I'm not on social media because I have a family stalker who always finds and harasses me (long story involving a cult), so I didn't have that going for me.

Coworkers - They all were mainly transplants like me, too. Always make yourself available to hang out and go to everything you're invited to. A lot of people I initially hung out with weren't my type of people to be around because we're all from different walks of life and almost all of them were married and had kids. That said, some of my closest friends I've developed since I moved here I've met from work.

Bars - I like to drink on the weekends, so I started going out a lot on my own just to find a watering hole I liked. After almost a year, I found a bar that is awesome and became a regular there. I'm on a first name basis with all of the staff and regulars and have met a few cool people I hang out with now from there. Rookie mistake, I ended up hooking up with one of the bartenders and we had a casual relationship for a few months. She's really cool about it, but I definitely advise against doing this in the future. This bar is usually my last stop on dates that are going well, because I know everyone there, so it gives me a lot of social proof when I show up with a girl I like. Another rookie mistake, don't start out at your spot, because if the girl is rude to your bartender/waitress, it will reflect badly on you. Wait until you know she's alright and it's going somewhere before bringing her into your inner circle.

Hobbies - I'm an introvert, so I spent a lot of time at home with all of my hobbies before I moved here. I branched out and got involved in different things and found more people to hang with by trying different stuff. Skiing, Rock Climbing, board game groups, etc.

Meeting people through friends you've started to aquire - This is where you really start to see the fruits of your labor. People you think are cool introduce you to other people they think are cool. If you're single, you'll meet a lot of single girls here. I've been going out on a lot of blind dates lately. Nothing has really come of any of them, because I'm very picky, but it's been happening a lot lately.

Events/festivals/concerts/shows/etc - Start going to these a lot alone or with people you know.

I now have a circle big enough to always have something going on every weekend and several nights throughout the week. It's almost hard to find time just for me now, between all my friends and the girls I'm meeting. After you start meeting people, hang on to the ones you like by keeping the social interactions going from your end. Don't expect everyone to always include you without returning the favor. If you see something going on that interests you, call people up and invite them, even if you know they will turn you down. It lets them know you still are thinking about hanging out with them and they'll do the same to you.

lolmaker123 · 2017-10-23T18:43:01+00:00

Hi there,

So basically I was an outcast at private school, was a scholar of an ethnic minority. Suffered a lot of racism then and had few friends, no parties etc.

Came to university intent on being popular. Decided to push the boundaries by coming out of my shell. Started to go around talking to the people during first week by just introducing myself asking general questions to them. It doesn't matter at first what you talk about, more how you say it. I advise using FORD method for conversation, then thinking of more conversation topics that are typical. Then I tried to go deeper to see what it is they like. For instance with me I love all sports, I like people who can talk about this. Read more books and tried to browse the internet. There comes a snowballing effect by meeting new friends, as they introduce new ones. Tried to be polite with everyone. Try to drop hooks, for instance at the gym if someone looks like they want a spot or need a picture/recording suggest it before they ask it. Then continue on by saying stuff like we haven't met before blah blah. Try to join clubs and stuff. I started acting classes and met a lot of friends that way, whom I still contact. This also makes you more interesting as a person.

Need anything else, I would be happy to give advice good luck

thiswaytoalltheporn · 2017-10-23T21:17:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

-BabeWithThePower- · 2017-10-24T04:31:16+00:00

This sounds like the movie Yes Man. Great tips!

Title	Given the recent posts,what is your experience on building a good social circle from scratch?
Author	TheCaptainUnderwear
Upvotes	77
Comments	27
Date	October 23, 2017 4:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/788zom/given_the_recent_postswhat_is_your_experience_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/given-the-recent-postswhat-is-your-experience-on.1435695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1435695

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