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How long should you wait between dates?

Lichcrow

November 1, 2017

2 upvotes

/r/seduction

/r/seduction/comments/7a7isq/how_long_should_you_wait_between_dates/

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Post Information

Title	How long should you wait between dates?
Author	Lichcrow
Upvotes	2
Comments	16
Date	November 1, 2017 11:29 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7a7isq/how_long_should_you_wait_between_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-long-should-you-wait-between-dates.1436202 https://theredarchive.com/post/1436202

Comments

[–]midnight_toker22 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NunoHimself 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]midnight_toker22 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]NunoHimself 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]midnight_toker22 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]NunoHimself 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]theSuppleLemur 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]midnight_toker22 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Women tend to develop and figure out their feelings very slowly, so moving too quickly is a killer if you want this girl to stick around. If you move too fast, a) she’ll freak out and feel like she’s losing her freedom, so then she ejects, and b) it might give off the impression that you’re over-eager and desperate to lock her down into a relationship, which doesn’t reflect well on you and your “status” (a high value male with a lot of options generally isn’t going to be anxious to get into a committed relationship) and it also feels back into her feeling like she’s losing her freedoms.

So like I said in my other comment in this post, initiate a date one per week (see the comment for reasons) and if she reaches out sooner then assume it means she’s ready to see you again. Always let women set the pace in a relationship. Do not move any faster than they signal they are ready for.

I fucked up the best thing I ever had with a total babe who was absolutely crazy about me (so much so that she basically dragged me back to her apartment and fucked me on our first date) because I moved things too fast. I thought “What do I need to take things slow for, she’s could not be more into me and I feel the same way about her. It’s okay to just throw caution to the wind and move full steam ahead, right?” WRONG. Biggest mistake I’ve ever made with a woman.

[–]theSuppleLemur 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]midnight_toker22 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s not unusual, it’s easy to play it cool most of the time but when guys meet a girl that really rocks their world they tend to come unglued.

Up to this point we’ve casually exchanged a few Snapchats throughout the day, but she’s stopped responding to some of them.

That is a sign she’s losing interest. Take note.

Are you saying I should not talk to her for a couple days and hit her up later this weekend / next week to see if she is up for meeting up again?

Yes, pull back. Do not initiate contact with her at all this weekend. If she hasn’t reached out to you by mid next week, go ahead and contact her to try to set something up. If she does reach out, and asks why she hasn’t heard from you, just say you had other plans or were busy with something. She might act mad but it’ll fine if you take that opportunity to arrange another meetup - no woman wants a guy who’s whole world revolves around her. You should be busy with you me own life.

The underlying principal behind all this is

The quickest way to gain someone’s attention is to remove yours.

It is truly amazing how effective this is, it’s one of the best pieces of advice I can give.

[–]theSuppleLemur 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pantenefiveinone 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]midnight_toker22 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Sure.

Date frequency is just one small piece of it, and it ties into my larger point about letting the woman set the pace of a relationship. So like I said, when you are first starting out, schedule at most one date per week. When her attraction increases to a point where she wants to see you more than that, she’ll bring it up. For example, if you have a date set for Friday/Saturday, she might mention doing something together Tuesday or Wednesday; or she might suggest doing something a day or two after the date you’re currently on. However it happens, she’ll start to want more of your time and she’ll seek it out.

Internalize one of the golden rules of attraction: absence makes the heart grow fonder. Cliché phrase, but it’s 100% true. And it is simply incredible to watch this principal at work in spite of you not doing anything to make it happen.

Same with exclusivity talks- don’t let her catch even a whiff of that being on your mind until she brings it up first. Letting her be the one to broach that topic makes you the catch, not vice versa.

Then there’s things like planning dates/activities/trips too far into the future. It’s presumptuous to assume you’ll still be together at that point, and she’ll feel like you’re making plans for a future that she hasn’t agreed to yet. Using that girl I mentioned in that previous post of mine (4 years ago lol), one of my mistakes was buying us concert tickets for a show that was 4 months in the future. Most relationships fizzle out long before then, and sure enough, this one did too. I guess it could be said that not being aware of that, and trying to make such plans, shows a lack experience/maturity.

And finally, the most difficult and subjective: when you are dating someone and things are going well, there’s a tendency to relax and let your guard down. You start showing your true self, blemishes and all, rather than your best self. Like I alluded to in my previous comment, you’ll most likely reach that point while she’s still trying to figure out her feelings… and the shift in your behavior will be really jarring.

[–]pantenefiveinone 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]midnight_toker22 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link