Could we say that Mark Manson's view on attraction is based on assertiveness?

79trombones · 2018-02-15T13:50:23+00:00

“Confidently, unapologetically and assertively show your honest intent to a woman while simultaneously remaining outcome independent.”

The above theory clearly defines in one statement why some men are successful with women while others fail. While it may seem simple on the surface, on a deeper level this statement encompasses all the previous principles mentioned thus far. Without a thorough understanding of the previous chapters, this theory can easily be wrongly interpreted and erroneously applied. The theory can be broken down into its two parts: showing honest intent and being outcome independent.

Honesty has been a staple principle throughout this entire book. When being truly honest, your conduct is fully congruent and consistent; ergo your thoughts, words and actions are continuously aligned. Showing honest intent is synonymous with acting in a man to woman frame. Men who try to hide their interest or are ashamed of their desires are acting dishonestly. By acting like a friend, these men only ever become a woman’s friend. Every time you spend time with a woman that you like and hide your interest, you are actively lying to her. Dishonesty tells a woman that you are either faking who you are in order to hide your inadequacies or are trying to manipulate her into liking you. These behaviors stem from an internal belief that you are not good enough as you are.

Being honest extends well past your interactions with woman and into how you choose to live your life. While it is important to be honest with others, it is also critical that you are honest with yourself. Perhaps by now you have realized that the same core beliefs it takes to be successful with women mirror those needed to be successful in life. All the attractive traits and behaviors mentioned in this book are beneficial to you regardless of your interest in attracting women. Your attractiveness to women comes as a consequence of improving yourself as a man. You become an attractive man by living a life of authenticity and integrity. You become authentic when you are pursuing your purpose, and living your life in accordance to what you value. Even if you lack what others would define as “success,” you keep your integrity by knowing that you are acting true to yourself. This is the deepest form of honesty. You accept yourself as you are. You do not lie to yourself to protect your ego. You work at becoming who you want to be, not what others have determined as being worthy of praise, love or approval. Fulfillment, confidence and self-respect come from living a life that is in line with your values. When you show how much you value and respect yourself, you gain the admiration of others. Lead a life that you are proud of, and thus a woman who shares your values would be proud to join.

Being outcome independent means that no matter the response a woman has to your advances, the outcome does not affect how you feel about yourself. By remaining completely secure through temporary “rejections,” you show the highly attractive traits of confidence and lack of neediness. As one pulls themself out of scarcity and into abundance, one naturally becomes more outcome independent.

Outcome independence stems from believing that you are enough as you are. This is the deepest form of abundance. If you are truly content with yourself, then you do not require validation, approval or positive reactions from others. When others sense this, they know that you are not seeking any type of value from them, and that having you in their lives can thus be beneficial. This also puts them at ease by indicating that you will not burden them with being responsible for your emotional state.

Showing honest intent means that you are willing to express to a woman your interest in her. Outcome independence means that you are completely comfortable accepting that a woman may be unreceptive. Persistence often works with an available woman when you act with honest intent and are outcome independent. Women admire persistence when it illustrates the healthy sense of entitlement of a man who is confident of what he wants, but who also does not become emotionally distraught upon not getting it. This fulfills a woman’s wish to feel desired, but not in a needy value seeking sort of way. Any type of persistence which lacks honest intent and outcome independence will instill disinterest, discomfort and even fear in women.

From Book: Fundamentals of Female Dynamics

blunt_eastwood · 2018-02-15T14:13:21+00:00

It's been a while since I read his book, but I believe he says in it that honest communication and clear intentention push girls that are on the fence to be either neutral or into you.

So it's more than just assertive behavior.

__ManBeast__ · 2018-02-16T04:43:03+00:00

Showing clear masculine behaviour excites women

Showing clear feminine behaviour excite men

That's how biology works

Just like how I'd get turned on if a women gave me puppy dog eyes and asked me to protect her, she'd get turned on if I led the way and told her she's safe.

Being assertive, non-needy, and in control are all masculine traits, so by having them, girls are attracted.

Title	Could we say that Mark Manson's view on attraction is based on assertiveness?
Author	LmDol
Upvotes	13
Comments	6
Date	February 15, 2018 1:25 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7xqbgx/could_we_say_that_mark_mansons_view_on_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/could-we-say-that-mark-mansons-view-on-attraction.1441721 https://theredarchive.com/post/1441721

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