I just can't cold approach out of the blue.

SimplePickup5 · 2018-05-06T02:50:46+00:00

I think this is pretty normal and I'm the same way. Obviously when the environment is helping your cause it's way easier to approach. But the definition of a cold approach is...that it's cold. Out of the blue.

"Fuck it" is oversimplified, lol, even though that post got all the upvotes.

What's happening is you're afraid to break social convention. You're afraid of being seen as uncool or weird. I struggle with this too (I think everyone does, a truly cold approach is the hardest), but I'll suggest what I think the answer is:

Accept that you're breaking social convention, accept that they may find it weird and that it wouldn't say anything bad about you, and then you're free to do it. This is why some PUAs say things like "This is really weird but..." or "This is super random but...". They are acknowledging the break in social convention, which makes the approach less random and more natural.

Another thing I'll add, and this is advice I'm basically giving to myself, is that if you're not willing to look stupid, nothing great will ever happen to you. You'll weird some small minority of girls out....but you're going go absolutely make some girl's day. You may be even able to kiss her on the spot or take her home if the stars align. Now THAT is an amazing experience.

Actually, I can still vividly imagine my successful cold approaches, and I still feel the adrenaline years later imagining them. THEY ARE THE HARDEST BUT THE MOST FUN. Fuck, I gotta get back in the game.

BozoCardozo · 2018-05-06T02:13:41+00:00

Do you have a fear of coming across as creepy? That seems to be a common cause of AA in public places. It’s definitely possible for some guys to come across as a creep, but if you’ve been having success with women in other parts of your life, the chances of you coming across that way are pretty low.

Alex25pf · 2018-05-06T05:49:51+00:00

Just tell yourself there's a solid 80 or 90% chance she'll react positively.

If you've had success with girls from class that already means you're not inept with people/girls skills.

It can be super scary but put it this way, who the fuck wouldn't like a stranger to come up to them and tell them they look pretty? (Maybe 10% of the girls)

Another thing you could ask yourself is "What's the WORST thing that could happen?"

Maybe she'll look at you with an unpleasant face and say something like "Thanks... But you should go". That's probably the ABSOLUTE WORST outcome. Picture this happening and imagine how it would be. I'm sure you'd just think oh well fuck her, and you'd feel ready to move on to the next one as soon as you realise rejection is easy to deal with. I'm sure you've been rejected several times in other scenarios, you're still alive right?

Just do it!

Title	I just can't cold approach out of the blue.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	May 5, 2018 10:44 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8hb0pb/i_just_cant_cold_approach_out_of_the_blue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-just-cant-cold-approach-out-of-the-blue.1446091 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446091

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